Bored?

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: -takes hand n gets out- thanks.

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: -nods- welcome

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: -smiles- so wats up?

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: -shakes head- just wishing someone was on yahoo right now

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: haha wish someone was on msn....

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: im on msn!

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]:
oooo pretty

2009-01-04 [ღMeggy Battyღ]: that is pretty

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: wats ur addy on msn? ill add ya

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: poproxgurl@hotmail.com

thank you megan

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: ok. ill add ya............ur added.

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: lalala!!!!!!!!

2009-01-04 [ღMeggy Battyღ]: mwaha i'm adding you too.

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: yay!

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: haha koolness

2009-01-04 [ღMeggy Battyღ]: you didn't add me?

2009-01-04 [his~butterfly]: i did tooo lol

2009-01-04 [sanjisgirl4-eva]: lol

15:48:12 [flirt4:2069_16]: hey what up

00:02:17 [sunabozu]: The couple sitting opposite me in my Tampa offices look like a nice couple. They are polite to each other. They even love each other, so they say. But the marriage is ending. She wants out.

“I can't live with his depression,” she says almost as soon as they've sat down. “It's his negativity, he's constant looking on the dark side of everything. And I'm always making excuses for him--he won't let me tell people the truth about his depression, so I have to lie for him!”

Living, working or having a close relationship with somebody who suffers from depression is not easy, even if they're one of the lucky 30% who is really helped by antidepressants. Often they feel guilty, or ashamed, about being depressed. Sometimes their depression will take the form of anger at you or others. Sometimes it may cause them to sabotage or harm themselves. If they're honest they will complain of the pain the illness causes, if they're less than frank they'll withdraw or blame you for their depressed state. You may well feel you're in a lose-lose situation.

The real danger in any relationship with someone who has a serious illness is that you and he or she will become codependent around the problem. This is most obviously true with alcoholism, but the same forces are at work in cases of cancer, or HIV or depression. Lying for someone, making excuses for them or pretending the problem doesn't exist is part of the codependence spectrum.

The trick to surviving in a relationship with a depressive--or an alcoholic for that matter--is to firmly maintain your boundaries, or, as we would put it, be aware of and insist on getting your needs met. Any relationship is a mutual satisfaction of needs, regardless of either party's state of health.

Establishing clear and consistent boundaries can be very hard because often our natural inclination is to try to make the sufferer feel better, to rescue. I have known people who have gone broke trying to appease the demands of the inner demons that torment their partner, trying to make it right for them, trying to make them happy.

00:02:59 [sunabozu]: This may in turn lead to complicated relationship depression. The person which is dominant can cause the other person feel worse and deprssed.

In a perfect relationship each person starts as he or she means to go on, truthfully. In vast majority of relationships, we start with untruths and care on like that. If you are keen on someone, you may hide those aspects of yourself which you may think might put him or her off - you are on your best behaviour.

However the other person tends to assume that this is the real you, and expects the behaviour to continue. In some, however, one person is afraid to reveal their true self, or the other person refuses to accept it, and life becomes a lie. This is the breeding ground for depression in relationship.

Very often depressed person are told by loved ones, 'I only want what's best for you, stand up for yourself.' The trouble is that what they really mean is 'Stand up for yourself with other people but not with me.' Close relatives can be very resistant to changes in those they have taken for granted.

Generally, it would seem that relationships difficulties of various kinds contribute to the development of depressive illness. We all need to be far more aware of what we expect of one another and of what we ought to expect. A healthy relationship is supportive but allows each partner to be the person they want to be and accepts them as such.

Hence the bottomline is expect the other person in any relation as he or she is. Be supportive and the let the other person be what he or she wants to be.