[Lethal Injection]'s diary

43377  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-11-24
Written: (6699 days ago)

They arn't coming out again. My mind just seems to be circling around them. Skipping around them and laughing like a little kid would. It's like i can't focus on one thing. It's like a movie. How it seems to be going to so many different clips at one time, yet my eyes are staring at ONE thing. I wonder. That's all i can do. My mind. Wont stay on one thing. It wont. It's like a really fast roller coaster. Just going around in circles. Again. And again. And again. And.. Again.. Then when it finally slows down so you can catch a breath, it only begins to start up again, going faster. When i close my eyes, all of those clips show behind my eyes. So i have to open them and face reality. I cant take a deep breath to calm myself. I cant close my eyes to calm myself. I cant run to calm myself. I cant do anything to calm myself. My body is a constant adrenalin rush. My mind... Is a constant rush. A rush i don't need. A rush i cant stand having. A rush i need to get rid of. Maybe i'm only doing this to myself. Who's here to help me? No one's here to help me and tell me it's ok. No one's here to tell my thoughts to calm down. To tell them to slow down. I don't know where i belong. I know it isn't here. I feel so different right now. I look at everything and it seems to be going to fast. Not slow like it normally does. I don't know what to do. I cant calm my heart. It's racing. Everything is racing. The music is slow. The music is playing so slow. So beautiful it flows to my ears. Yet i look at myself and i seem crazy. If someone were here right now they'd strap me to the bed and call someone. I'm not crazy. I don't need help. I don't.. I really don't. I'm just like everyone else. I am. Honest. I promise. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I wouldn't do something no one else wouldn't do. I wouldn't. Because i am who i am. I'm me. I'm Meg. I'm bubbles. The bubbles everyone loves and adores because i'm usually so sweet. Now look at me. Now look. Now look at what i've become. A Monster. I've become.... A monster..... Oh god..

 The logged in version 

News about Elfpack
Help - How does Elfpack work?

Get $10 worth of Bitcoin/Ethereum for free (you have to buy cryptos for $100 to get it) and support Elfpack!