well me and reid split up. hes an ass. but its okay, bohner wasa stupid name to begin with. he says that i deserved better than him which i suppose depending on how you look at it could be true, i mean after all it wasnt ME who left the perfect relationship. it wasnt ME that cheated. no, it was i who forgave him fo rcheating. what did he want me todo, reach over and hit him randomly? be pissed over him calling 5 min later thatn he usually does? i cant do that im pretty relaxed. i dont throw fits! if that was what he wanted he never made it known. but any way i digress, he said that he didnt want me to have to deal with him being in the military. and i wa sliek bull shit if i was willing to risk being hurt if i was willing to fight for us he should have been too! but after i realised that the 2 hours of crying wasnt gonna fix it or make me feel better. that all the crying would amount to is a red face and a stuffy nose, i stopped. decided that i wasnt going to let him bother me. but that i WOULD be rational. i told him he needed to go get my name taken off his bank account. and that he needed to take my name off the dependant slip for if he dies. and he said eh wouldnt take me off, fo rthe money, that he wanted me tohave it and i said bullshit, i wont take it, i wont have your family saying i took money i wasnt entitled to! and i told him that his new girlfriend when he got one wouldnt want me on the slip, right? and then he was like welli need your zip code, so i gave it to him but i didnt know why he needed it and when i asked he said taht he needed it to send me the presents, cause when we were together he had bought me like a $1000 worth of jewelry, and i was like, why? it's not like i will wear it now, and thats even if mom lets me have it. and he had the nerve THE NERVE to tell me that in 3 adn a half years when hes out of the army he " will look me up" and how the hell does he plan on finding me? im no tgonna wait for 3.5 years in this dinky little town, i got college, i have my nursing degree to get, ya know? and then i planned on traveling, maybe back pack across europe for a few months, how the hell does he assume to know where he will find me? or that i will even take him back, or be able to for all he knows i could be married then. but i have to admit, i was supprised by how many guys told me they still liked me when i told everyone that me and reid were apart, my x's lucky, chris, ben my friends tim and adam, and shane, and so i ve got that to throw in his face. be all sure YOU dont want me, but these guys do, loser. hehe ya know? oh my graaah! i jsut, grrr, this is horrible but i cant wait for him to go get shot at, i seriously cnat! hes SUCH an ASS!!! calls me, accuses me of cheating on HIM! boy that was rich. he should really stop projecting his faults onto me. and then he says that hes gettin a new phoen today, which mean i dont thik mine will work. GRRRR but i am thinking of draining his bank account. $3000 has my name on it too. oh, as if that isnt enough, and this is funny, youll laugh, i did. the chick who told him i cheated on him (who ironically is one of his ex girlfriends, remember that. its important.) well she was dating tim on saturday (the night i stayed at her and tims house)it was JUST me her and tim, right? now tim was teh guy i did teh supposed cheating with. well im no genius but if i cheated on reid, with her bf, and she was in the same house at the same time, dont you think she would have tried to stop me? now here's the kicker. me and reid split up sunday at 6 her and tim split at 6 15, 5 minutes after i had called and told her me and reid split. coincidence? i think not. and is it coincidence that when i tell her that me and him are close to getting back together that she starts spreadin around that i cheated on him? hmmm? i think not.

oh . .robert, why di doyu have to go and do that, your a sweet guy, you kno wyou are . . .but we barely talk, exchange courtesies at the most, and then you bought me roses? how am i suppos eto say no to that? i mean . .they ar ebeautiful, and they smell divine, but why roses?

i use to say i faer nothing, tha ti was brave, an di will stay with taht conviction, tha ti am brave, but brave doesnt mean that im no tafraid of anything, no brave means that, een though i am afraid i leave my self open for pain, if i can handle having a 2 by 4 broken over my ass i can handle a little thing like love right? i mean its not that much, but then perhaps to soem it is, perhaps its bigger than i know, perhaps thats why lov ecan move a mountain, i can t believe he said it was unhealthy fo rme to talk to him, i told him i had backed off, i told him i respected that, so much fo rfriends, perhaps ben was right, teh extents of love arent nearly as large as propaganda makes them seem no wif you excuse me fo ra second i believe that i . . need. . to . .go to the lake, it might be cold and wet, but being numb is better than feeling pain right? actually ill do that as soon as the nausea goes away . . .

*sigh* i wishi could just hibernate, jsut this one week out of teh year, is that so much to ask? everybody else is getting to be coupled off, friends, family, pets, everyone but me *sigh* There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout 'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around., how right anna nalick was when she wrot e those words, same mistakes differnet people different places, is ther eno end to this circle? *sigh* perhaps one day . . . . . .

she outta the coma! hurray!

ANNA NALICK LYRICS

Breathe (2 AM)


2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just a day, he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

nuisance by john reuban


So here we are in the same old spot knowing something needs to happen but
our mouths are locked tongue tied closed tight sealed shut yup I tried hard
but it just wouldn’t come up it's on the tip of my tongue it's on the front
of my mind yet the words were still so hard to find finally the reality of
things that come and push me to the edge I jumped off the cliff into the
abyss as I said


I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it

the conversation lingered on and on and before i knew it night had turned to
dawn and we'll be searching for the truth in all of this ha or are we
debating just to win the argument cause none of us wanna here about where we
go wrong this song could easily be from me to you or me to john cause I have
the potential to be he guiltiest ha my greatest strength is also my
strongest weakness

I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it
I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it

let's think about this path that we're taking let's think about this future
we're creating let's think about this life that is fading think about it
come on think about now lets think about this time we're spending investing
on monetary things that are ending let's think about it then let's think
together let's think about what we can do to make it better

I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it
I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it
I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it
I’m not trying to be a nuisance I just think we can do better than this that
was simply my two cents you can you can take it or leave it (we can and we will)

we can and we will do better than this we can and we will do better than this

am i just naive?
or is stupid a better term?
faith, i think not
convienient recollections
thats what it was
see what i want
hear what i need
but obviously
he never cared for me
cant say i blame him
cant say i care
i mean after all
im just naive
or stupid in other words

hey everybody! i have decided that i have a new song that describes me!

RELIENT K LYRICS

"Apathetic Way To Be"

Yeah, I'm not angry
and no, I'm not upset
it's taken me awhile
but this is what I've learned
emotional attachment is really not a threat
when I'm simply not concerned

The things that I take on
I soon shrug off
'cause I know no one
will ever be content
with the way things are
or with what they've got
so I've given up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
like I'm not happy
with anything, any time, anywhere
and the half of me's all about apathy
and the other half just doesn't care

I must admit;
all the words you spoke, I hated
cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
I'm left to break a sweat over a dying race
it seems our fate is something we've already embraced

Yeah, I'm not angry,
and no, I'm not upset
it's taken me awhile
but this is what I've learned
emotional attachment is really not a threat
when I'm simply not concerned

You all laugh at me
like I'm not happy
with anything, any time, anywhere
and the half of me's all about apathy
and the other half just doesn't care

Yeah, bein' apathetic's a pathetic way to be
(I don't care)
What matters to you does not matter to me
('cause I don't care)

So take a wild guess
it's like I just couldn't care less
if all the things you find impressive
just blew up and made those messes
that you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair
and all the while you're unaware
for this, you really shouldn't care
but it's so hard to see the reality
that the end will be the end of things
and our hearts are all we get to bring
so let's go ahead and make them worth something

You all laugh at me
like I'm not happy
with anything, any time, anywhere
and the half of me's all about apathy
and the other half just doesn't care

You all laugh at me
like I'm not happy
with anything, any time, anywhere
and the half of me's all about apathy
and the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
can at times, be too uptight
and possibly, the remedy
is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me

proof taht women are evil

first we must establish that woman ARE evil
so [women= shopping]
and shopping takes time x money
now [time = money]
and [money = evil]
SO [women = evil squared]

proof that men are even worse than evil

first we state that men need time, money, girls, and sex
so   [men= time x money x girls x sex]
as we all know  [time = money]
so  [men = money x money x girls x sex]
and we all know men want as many girls as possible because they want as much sex as possible so for guys [girls = sex]
as for tehmens proof that girls are evil
     [girls = evil]
    so [evil = sex]
therefore
 [men = money squared x evil x evil]
 [men = money squared x evil squared]


and because 'money is the root of all evil'
    [money = square root of evil]
there fore
    [money squared = evil]
    [men =evil x (evil)squared] =
    [(evil) to the 3rd power]
mens proved girls = evil
women proved men = (evil)to the third power -----> men is worse than evil
so we are forced to conclude that men are worse than girls

damnit i dont know what to do anymore, i mena i like him really i do, and maybe thats why it hurts, but i mean on elftown he has it all over his page that im his girlfriend but on here im nothing but a really good friend or hunny, not so much as my name, and all the other 'hunnies' in his relationships. i mean him calling me hunny he could mean any of them , and i mean i know he said he wouldnt cheat on me id like to believe him but i mean its like hes embarrassed of me i mean im only on here cause he asked me to his was the first page i visited and he was on here for god knows how long before i was and his page was all over that he was single not so much as a speck that he had a gf, am i crazy? should i not be worried about this? i just dont know anymore. what should i do? things havent been the same between us since.