[It takes a disaster to learn a lesson]'s diary

64777  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-21
Written: (6257 days ago)

I've slipped and made a mistake...
I've done it now...
I'm in for it now
What to do?
Daddy I'm sorry...
I never thought this could happen to me
But I guess once again I was wrong..
Daddy...
I carry and innocent life inside of me...
And I'm not gonna give it up
It's part of me...
I've made a mistake and I plan on keeping it
I'll grow up real fast I know..
But I'll be grown-up and take care of my mistake
Cause WHO am I to take away an innocents life?
I may not be able to give it the best life
But it will be loved and that's the best I can do..
I'm sorry daddy...
I never meant for this to happen..
But it has
And hopefully you'll forgive me.

by [¤VÕÐKä]

64746  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-04-20
Written: (6257 days ago)

*i wanna Be The one
he’s Up At night
thinkin about
i wanna Be ThE one
He’s Tellin his Boys
i think I LuV hEr*


*A shoulder to cry on
an ear to bend
money to borrow
clothes to lend
Friday night hangouts
afternoon walks
2am phone calls
private talks
memories together will never end
always and forever best friends!*


*i dont wanna walk away because
im afraid you wont come after me*


*I Love The Way My Fingers Just Fall Into Yours
I Love How Your Taste Still Lingers On My Lips
After That i Special Goodnight Kiss, i I Love How
Whenever I Go To Call Someone I Automatically
Dial Your Number, I Love How You Look At Me
With Those Gorgeous Eyes And Then You Smile
That Sweet Smile.. And I Know Right There, That
You Will Always Be Mine.. I Love How You Hug
Me With The Intention Of Never Letting Go.. I
Love i You More Than Words Could i Ever Show*


*I mAy NoT gEt 2 See U As 0fTeN aS I
Like I mAy n0t GeT 2 h0Ld U iN
mY aRms aLL ThRu thE NiTe*BuT
deEp DoWn I Kn0w iTs TrU
No MaTTa WhAt
I'LL aLwAys LoVe U*


I wanna be the *GIRL* you call baby, the *GIRL* you call your own the *GIRL* you hold in your arms, and fall asleep on the phone the *GIRL* who makes your days better, and the *GIRL* that will make you say ... my life has (CHANGED)becuz of ((>>HER


*a good friend will bail u outta jail but a best friend will be sitting next 2 u saying damn that was fun*


* Funny Condom Mottos *
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't
M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'
MCI: for friends and family
Kix - kid tested, mother approved
Nokia -- Connecting People


A gUrL iS MuCh MoRe
ThAn ShE SeEmS
NoT A ToY By AnY MeAnS
UnDeRNeAtH tHe MaKe-Up N' hAiR
ThErE iS a SiGn SaYiN'
'HaNdle WiTh CaRe


when your parents catch u to drunk 2 drunk walk, n when they they catch u 2 high to talk, and when u cant think and dont no what to do, dont call me...cuz ill be fucked up with u!!


YoU NeVeR rEaLiZe HoW mUcH yOu LiKe sUmOnE
UnTiL yOu WaTcH ThEm LiKe
SuMoNe eLsE -


Be Sure Its True When U
Say I Love U MiLlIons
Of HeArTs hAvE BeeN BrOkeN
JusT beCaUse TheSe WoRdS




Send me an Angel


Send me and Angel to remove my sins
Let that angel guide my hand and my decisions
Let that angel guide my tears away from heartbreak



Send me an angel to guard my soul
May I guard her heart and take it as my own
May I never see her spill a tear on account of me



Send me an angel to be mine
Let the flowers bloom with her laugh
And let the stars shine with her smile



Let the angel you send me know no pain and see no suffering
Let her live in the light of the sun where love reigns supreme
Let her be mine until the end of her time



And let her be happy for one last life.
Send me an angel.





61163  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-03-26
Written: (6283 days ago)

Never forget who you are
Little star
Shining brighter than all the stars in the sky
Never forget how to dream
Butterfly
Never forget where you come from
From love
You are a treasure to me
You are my star
You breathe new life
Into my broken heart
--Madonna



kising is a habit
fucking is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain
the guy says i love you believe its true
but when your tummy starts to swell
he says "to hell with you "
10 minites of pleausure
9 months of pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldent have happend
if the rubber wouldent have torn







61024  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-25
Written: (6284 days ago)

Be My Escape



I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away


And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake


I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.



I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair



Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.



I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave



Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.



I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You



So were You



Who I Am Hates Who I've Been



I watched the proverbial sunrisecoming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...



'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.



This is no place to try and live my life.



[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.



[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.



I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.



I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.



And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.



This is no place to try and live my life.



[Pre-Chorus x2]


[Chorus]



Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won't take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...



So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
Missing: </center>
60954  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-24
Written: (6284 days ago)

╚♣V♥ε♠r♥a♣╝
Against All .Authority

58711  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-13
Written: (6296 days ago)
Next in thread: 60987

I'm looking someone who knows what they want out of life, someone who is not afraid to love and to be loved. I want someone who can see into my heart and soul and who can realize and value my individuality and uniqueness. Someone who appreciates me for who I am, someone who loves me, shares her innermost feelings thoughtsand desireswith me, and allows me to love her back with out any complexity and ambiguity.

love is not about finding the right person but creating a right relationship...Its not about how much love u have in the begining but how much love you build till the end....

this is what someone wrote to me

58710  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-13
Written: (6296 days ago)

mya case of the ex
demon of the shaddows
Broken Dreams

58050  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-08
Written: (6301 days ago)

the touch of poison in your veins
ŁąħřÊ

ιιм ǿη αησтнα ℓєνєℓ....

Against All .Authority

57995  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-07
Written: (6301 days ago)

jghgh

56928  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-28
Written: (6309 days ago)

XDeadly WhispersX
†~†~ Ŧh€ Ang€l Øf D€åŦh ~†~†

56549  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6312 days ago)

The Darkest Star
sweet but evil
Ĝŗėęʼn Ĕŷěđ Ρŕĩńčēşš
M®§ JØ®dΧØÑ
goddess of the immortal flame
XDeadly WhispersX
†~†~ Ŧh€ Ang€l Øf D€åŦh ~†~†
the touch of poison in your veins
ŁąħřÊ

ιιм ǿη αησтнα ℓєνєℓ....
mya case of the ex
demon of the shaddows
╚♣V♥ε♠r♥a♣╝
Against All .Authority
DeadInMyOwnMind

55867  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-20
Written: (6316 days ago)


»•´¨`»* *[

]* *«•´¨`«

°o O º(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)º O o°
»•´¨`»* *[Welcome To My House]* *«•´¨`«
°o O º(¸.•'´(¸.•'´ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)º O o°
-:∫:-`•.¸¸.•»«•.¸¸.•´¨)-:∫:-
¸.•´¸.•´¨)(¨`•.¸`•.¸
(¸.•´°Ë`•.¸)
¸.•´
( `•.¸
`•.¸ )
(.•´ ]

55788  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-20
Written: (6317 days ago)

You'll be happy again:


when your alone,
and feel like you don't belong,
i just want you to know,
That im here for you.


i want to take your hand,
and press you to my heart ... i will let you cry,
allow you to let it all out.


Heaven knows how you feel ... you'll be happy again.
wipe away your tears, and smile my love,
You'll be happy again.
.................................................


A painful kinda love:


If only I could touch your lips with mine, and kiss away your pain.
To be at your side, and press you to my chest.
I would love you ... a true love that you have never known.
But you wont allow it ... farther you push me back.
I fall into darkness ... I lay and wish away so much ... why don't you love me?
Why cant we be together? ... Why not throw away all their cruel words?
let us just be happy ... let us just be together.
I lay crying at your side ... I kiss your lips, and press you to my chest.
I would have loved you ... a love you've never known
.......................................................

Thinking of you:


You stand with me, yet you stand so far away.
Unable to feel your warmth, or the softness of your skin against mine, I lay alone in the dark, wanting so badly to press my lips to yours.
I want you, Sara ... wanting to hold you so close to my chest.
I want to lay you down, and love you ... wanting to taste your sweat, and to know what its like to live again.
I wish to let you into my heart ... to cry out in sweet ecstasy, as your touch melts against my flesh.
Within you, I find hope ... I find reason to breathe.
Inside you so deep, I feel so very warm ... I feel happy.
we would sing out so very loud, swimming in so much pleasure ... sharing our love with the moon, and the heavens so far above.
We would lay so very close, letting the winds blow away our worries.



.......................................................

Comfort:


In her arms i wish to be,
Embraced by the warmth of her love.
With her ... the woman of my dreams.
The only one who could ever set me free.


with her by my side, i would feel safe,
Safe and at home ... a home I have never known.
She would lay with me at night and kiss away the pain.
She would hold me close and let me sleep in peace.
She would give me comfort.



....................................................

the burn:


there's a burn inside,
A burn that ignites my heart and sets my soul ablaze.
Never have I wanted someone so much.


you touch me, and i shiver,
you kiss me, and i fall to my knees,
You own me, baby ... body and soul.


we make love, and we love a lot,
We love so much the pain is swept away.
The song we sing cries out with so much raw power it brings tears to our eyes.
The cold of your skin fades, and the fire grows again.


you own me, baby ... body and soul,
That makes you hot, and that makes you happy.
I have done the one thing I said id never do again ... and that makes you smile.



....................................................

"Your Hands"
Hold me close
So warm
So soft
So gentle
Protect me always
So comforting
So strong
So swift
Against my skin
They burn...
Melting me
Making my legs so weak
Pressing me tight
Against your chest
Allowing your body to melt mine
Melt me entirely
Your hands caress me gently
Keeping me steady
Keeping me safe
Your hands so wonderful
So tempting
So protecting

...............................................................

"Wake"
I wake slowly
A smile spread across my face
Your hands are on me
Rubbing me so gently
Your warmth surrounds me
I open my eyes
Smile still in place
I think you sleep still
That I just dreampt your touch
But there you are
Smiling back at me
Such a lustful pleasure...
Such a desire shines down from your eyes
I circle my arms around you
Bringing you low
My lips catch yours
A hot kiss
My hands exploring you back
So wide awake
Love for you burning so high
Such a lovely...
Beautiful way to wake up
All the while you hands,
Those wonderful hands
Stay busy
Rubbing still
Giving me chills so sweet



.............................

"Sweet Pain"
Pain so sweet
Rips from within
Blood once cold
Now liquid fire
Your touch holds me close
Holds with such agony
Could this be...
This sweet...
Seductive pain
Could this be love
This feeling I crave
This almost unbearable...
Outstanding pain
My soul breaks free
Your lips on mine
My walls shatter
I am vulnerable to this burn
You feel it too
I hear your heart race
Speeding so fast
So fast it may burst
Your hands feel
They caress
They explore all of me
Each movement amplifying
Amplifying this pain
Never have I known...
Such a beautiful pain
Tears burn my eyes
Your body so close
So close the searing heat of you melts me
Such a feeling
A burning desire
Unbound
This sweet pain consumes me



....................................

"I crave..."


Most of all...I crave him
I crave the site of his beauty
I crave to love him like no one else ever would
I crave to touch him so gently with fingertips that shake
Most of all...I crave him
I crave to hold him so close
I crave to kiss him with all the fire within
I crave to taste him and all that he is
Most of all...I crave him
I crave his thoughts so deep
I crave his hands against me searing my skin
I crave to caress him gently
Most of all...I crave him

...........................................

¢Ü


55366  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-02-18
Written: (6319 days ago)

[Lying In Your Shadows]


No one sees me,
It's because the cant,
There's always someone in front of me,
I'm in your shadow,
Begging, screaming for the light to shine on me,
It can't because you take up to much of the light's time.
I don't mind that they see you,
But I want them to see me,
What I say is true,
I shake my head positively.
Crouched in a corner,
I look up at you,
I look at everyone watch you,
They watch your every move.
They can't see me,
I'm in your shadow.



Amanda Kaye Stanley

54675  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-13
Written: (6323 days ago)

My Angel


You must be an Angel sent from the sky
With beautiful bright golden wings you fly
You're here to light up my day
It's only you with whom I want to stay.


You must be an Angel, sent from above
You came down, and made made me fall in love
You're here to keep me from harm
When I'm with you I feel warm and calm


With someone like you, how can I be wrong?
It's only with you, I feel safe and strong.
You have guided me through everyday
And loved me in every way


Your love is so special the sweetest of all
I know you're an Angel, you just had a fall.



54667  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-13
Written: (6323 days ago)

What love can do…


I forgot about love once,
Faith left me a long time ago,
Feeling helpless,
Seeking in the dark.


But those who seek will find.
It only needs one spark of light.
More hope second by second.
Out of solitary at once.


And now I am here.
I feel your soft fingers on my skin.
And I shiver while they softly discover my body.
I take your hands. And hold them with love.


Your sugar lips taste sweet on mine.
Like something I never tasted before
Happiness takes part of my spirit.
And while you kiss me we fly away.


The rhythm of love
Two bodies, two minds,
But now melting to one.
In a bright sunlight.


And all the fearful feelings I had.
Turn into nothing.
The faith I lost returns.
When I am lying in your arms…


You saved me…the world is bright with you by my side.
You saved me…I love you, be my valentine….



54493  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-02-11
Written: (6325 days ago)

If yesterday was today, and today was yesterday, then what is 2morro?

  

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