[Blood Angel]'s diary

71733  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-15
Written: (6524 days ago)

Why do you plauge me,
those images of you clutter my mind,
the memories dancing around my heart,
your touch still on my skin
and the smell in the air,
its all a haunting,
the smiles
the hugs
the kisses
the tears
The love thats still there,
Please suck out that essence that still flows,
put out the flames of my wanting and
the need of wanting you here

Copy written and shit by me.

49087  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-06
Written: (6684 days ago)

So much shit is going on now with me, My jeep is still acting up and its driving me insane and then ontop if it my mom bitches about me doing something taht didn't need to be bitched about but thats how she is and she said something about me moving out and I dont mind that, I've been planning to for awhile anyways. Tonight I say something about it to her and then she goes and flips out saying how she can barely make it on her on and so on. -.- *sigh* It just sucks how one min someone can say they will be on your side and the next yell at you for an idea you had. *shakes a lil fist* I know people who live off of 7.50 an hour and that live fine and dandy. Stupid...

45557  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-12-11
Written: (6710 days ago)

Latest News of Nightwish
(the following info below is taken from Nightwish.com)

Dear Tarja,

It`s time to choose whether the story of Nightwish ends here or whether it will still continue an undetermined period of time. We`ve been working with this creation for 9 years and we are not ready to give up yet. Nightwish is a way of life, something to live for, and we`re certain we can`t let it go.

Equally certain is the fact that we cannot go on with you and Marcelo any longer. During the last year something sad happened, which I`ve been going over in my head every single day, morning and night. Your attitude and behavior don`t go with Nightwish anymore. There are characteristics I would never have believed to see in my old dear friend. People who don`t talk with each other for a year do not belong in the same band.

We are involved in an industry where the business-side of things is a necessary evil and something to worry about all the time. We are also a band which has always done music from the heart, because of friendship and the music itself. The mental satisfaction should always be more important than money! Nightwish is a band, it`s an emotion. To you, unfortunately, business, money, and things that have nothing to do with those emotions have become much more important. You feel that you have sacrificed yourself and your musical career for Nightwish, rather than thinking what it has given to you. This attitude was clearly shown to me in the two things you said to me in an airplane in Toronto: ”I don`t need Nightwish anymore.” and ”Remember, Tuomas, that I could leave this band at any time, giving you only one day`s warning in advance”. I can`t simply write any more songs for you to sing.

You have said yourself that you are merely a ”guest musician” in Nightwish. Now that visit ends and we will continue Nightwish with a new female vocalist. We`re sure this is an equally big relief to you as it is for us. We have all been feeling bad long enough.

You told us that no matter what, the next Nightwish album will be your last one. However, the rest of us want to continue as long as the fire burns. So there`s no sense in doing that next album with you, either. The four of us have been going over this situation countless times and we have realized that this is the thing we want to do in life. It´s all we can do. In December 2004, in Germany, you said that you will never tour again for more than two weeks at a time. You also said that we can forget about U.S. and Australia because the fees and the sizes of venues are too small.

In interviews I`ve mentioned that if Tarja leaves, that would be the end of the band. I understand that people will think this way. Nightwish is, however, a scenery of my soul and I`m not ready to let go because of one person. A person who wants to focus her creativity to somewhere else, a person whose values don`t match mine.

We were never bothered by the fact that you didn`t participate in writing/arranging songs, you never in 9 years came to rehearse the songs with us before going to the studio. Not the fact that while on tour you always wanted to fly, separately from us with your husband. Not the fact that you are an undisputable front image of the band. We accepted and felt ok about everything except greed, underestimating the fans, and breaking promises. It was agreed by the five of us that Nightwish would be the priority in everything that we do during 2004-2005. Still so many things were more important to you. The ultimate example being the already sold-out show in Oslo, which you wanted to cancel because you needed to rehearse for your solo concerts, meet frieds and go to the movies. Those were the words Marcelo used in an e-mail explaining the cancellation. This being just one example of so many. I couldn`t think of a worse way of being selfish and dismissing our fans.

Nightwish is a way of life and a job with many obligations. To each other and to the fans. With you we can`t take care of those duties anymore.

Deep within we don`t know which one of you drove us to this point. Somehow Marcelo has changed you from the lovely girl you were into a diva, who doesn`t think or act the way she used to. You are too sure of your irreplaceableness and status.

It`s obvious that you blame your stress and misery on us four. And you think we don`t respect or listen to you. Belive us; We have always had the uppermost respect towards you as a wonderful vocalist and as a friend. And very often during the past couple of years the plans were made according to your decisions only. You were always the only one who wanted more money from the shows. This ”compensation and more money from everything” –attitude is the fact that we are most disappointed of!

We wish that from now on you will listen to your heart instead of Marcelo. Cultural differences combined with greed, opportunism and love is a dangerous combination. Do not wither yourself.

This decision is not something we are especially proud of but you gave us no choice. The gap between us is too wide. And the decision is made by us four unanimously. We are beyond the point where things could be settled by talking.

All the best for your life and career,

Tuomas

Emppu Jukka Marco

- This is an open letter for everybody.

38840  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-15
Written: (6767 days ago)

Ok, its 2:38 am and I've been laying in bed since 12. 
I can't sleep and i'm as wake as I would be during the day.
Thoughts, images, ideas have all been running about in my head unlocked some how. Thoughts of whats going to happen to me, why I can't sleep, thoughts of sexual desires and pleasures. The sexual desires are running about mostly pushing aside all other thoughts i've had. Its been bullying everything else and I can't help it. Just the thoughts of her, being able to hold her once again and feel her body against mine, being able to feel her lips and her skin thats so wonderful silky. Her words of comfort drive me slowly on and on pulling me down into her trap which wins. It seems like my sex driven side has been won by her and its willing to give its self all to her. Just the way she holds me in her hugs and her giggles just seem to hold me and my body just goes heavy like I can't get up and I just smile and submit to her. She is so seductive and I know she isn't even tring to be but I can't help but let her take me. I know I've repeated things it seems but they aren't all the same thing. Each thing is different. I close my eyes and I see her face, I see her body hovering above me or I see her face resting on my chest smileing as she looks up at me. Her eyes, the voice and softness makes me feel so comfortable and happy.
*sighs* She is a captian of a pirate ship and she has beaten this viking, but will I even come to win?
or am I just a trollkin who was granted a elven beauty?
Why is my brain being put into twist and turns not ever seeming to stop any time soon. Its like two legs being wrapped around me and squeezing me into a position where I can't get away and I don't even try to struggle. I may wiggle but its not to get away its to get comfortable. I just want to be able to feel her against me again insted of laying in bed alone at night holding a pillow in the place where she should be. I had a taste of what its like to hold someone as they lay there in my arms and sleep, had a taste of thier mind and a piece of their soul, and now they have a piece of my soul, a piece of my heart and mind. A spot in my arms and at my side which will never go away.

38802  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-15
Written: (6767 days ago)

Ok, since I've been unsingle now I've noticed that I have not been looking at other chicks like I used to when I dated someone. I mean I could be dateing someone and still look at another and go "Oh I wonder what its like to have her" or so on and so on. Now I look at another girl and I have no comment really, and I'm damn happy about it. I've have gotten a mature and honest girl and im damn happy to have her. *just realized how good it is* 
The concert last night rocked my socks off once again.
3IOB IS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!
(3 Inches Of Blood for you stupid people :P)

36396  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-09-19
Written: (6793 days ago)
Next in thread: 36501, 36762, 36811

OK!!!
I have to rant about this.
The whole little "This is a sad story of a girl and a guy on a motorcycle..." thing is getting old.
Yes its sad and all but come on people, atleast make your own "original" story or hide it or something.
Its like every second or third person I see on this place has this story or something like it up. 
So yea, im done.

29848  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-23
Written: (6851 days ago)

OK WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH CHICKS IN ENGLAND!!! Is it from thier country being raided by so many different cultures and the women being raped and such that the offspring have become vixins or are they just extremely sexy. Well most of them are...but you know most chicks like that are drinking and smokeing and parties are always on their minds unless they are talking of shopping...I know that sounds sterotypical but this is just from my adventures. thats all they think of, well most. i've found a few that dont smoke and drink and party all the time but thats like uber rare. Stupid american society protrudeing its self upon other cultures and makeing everyone like Stupid Dumb "Big Cock" (Large cocks dont truely matter and thats been proven stupid people) sports players. And the whole cock thing, women want a big cock because its like a trophey...its like a guy dateing a girl thats really hot and has big breast and a huge rear end, ITS A SHOW OFF, I'M BETTER THEN YOU, TROPHEY!!!! STUPID
Ok im done ranting :P WHAAAAA Off to bed now.

16803  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (6922 days ago)

OH GOD I HATE THIS KIND OF WRITEING!

i luv 2 av a gud tym

It takes 4 hours to try and read that stupid ebonic writing style...STUPID PEOPLE LEARN TO WRITE CORRECTLY!

 The logged in version 

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