[*~*damn cute pixie*~*]'s diary

75132  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-07-09
Written: (6173 days ago)

[Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends
"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps
His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned
I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?
His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"
His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground
I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"
I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg
Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans
They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside
I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed
I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?
Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame
"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"
He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more
"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace
I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more
But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot
I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight
I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much
He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing.....

62535  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-04
Written: (6269 days ago)

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said

you told me not to drink, Mum

So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

the way you said I would,

That I didn't drink and drive,

though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

and your advice to me was right

as the party finally ended,

and the kids drove out of sight.

i got into my car,

sure to get home in one piece,

I never knew what was coming, Mum

something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

''The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,"

Mum, His voice seems far away.

My own blood all around me,

as I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

"This girl is going to die."

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

while he was flying high,

because he chose to drink and drive,

now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum

Knowing that it ruins lives?

And now the pain is cutting me,

like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mum

tell daddy to be brave,

and when I go to heaven,

put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

that it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his parents had

I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum

I'm getting really scared.

These are my final moments,

and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum

as I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say I love you, Mum

So I love you and good-bye.

62534  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-04
Written: (6269 days ago)

Clock is ticking while I’m killing time
Spinning all around
Nothing else that you can do
To turn it back

Wicked partnership in this crime
Ripping off the past, condescending smile

Trying to forget (Wasting my time)
We're falling right through
Lying to forget (Telling more lies)
We're raising our truth

Go and tease me

Clock is ticking while I’m still in time
Can’t you turn it back?
Stop the cycle,set me free
Run away

Silence sneaking along my path
Grab the rope off me, feeling like we'll fly(Feeling like we'll fly)

Time to forget (Wasting my time)
The fall of my truth
Lying to forget (Telling more lies)
Our ways of our truth

Trying to forget (Wasting my time)
We're falling right through
Lying to forget (Telling more lies)
We're raising our truth

62406  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-03
Written: (6270 days ago)

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.

The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
wants a new position.







She screams.






I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my

61875  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-30
Written: (6274 days ago)

hole: celebrity skin

Oh, make me over
I'm all I want to be
A walking study
In demonology

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, so glad you could make it now

Oh, look at my face
My name is might have been
My name is never was
My name's forgotten

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, there's only us left now

When I wake up in my makeup
It's too early for that dress
Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood
I'm glad I came here
With your pound of flesh
No second billing cause you're a star now
Oh, Cinderella
They aren't sluts like you
Beautiful garbage beautiful dresses
Can you stand up or will you just fall down

You better watch out
What you wish for
It better be worth it
So much to die for

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, there's only us left now

When I wake up in my makeup
Have you ever felt so used up as this?
It's all so sugarless
Oh, just go nameless
Honeysuckle, she's full of poison
She obliterated everything she kissed
and now she's fading
Somewhere in Hollywood
I'm glad I came here
With your pound of flesh

You want a part of me
Well, I'm not selling cheap
No, I'm not selling cheap

60732  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-23
Written: (6281 days ago)

The boy woke up, just 14 years old.
He brushed his teeth just like he'd been told.
He rushed to the door & grabbed his books.
around & around he then looks.
From the second he reaches the bus the names start to be called.
They made fun of his clothes & the book-bag he hauled.
The boy never really fit in school.
Being smart just didn't make you cool.
I remember one day i saw him drentched in mustard.
kids were throwing pizza & school custard.
Then one poored milk over his head.
he walked to the office wishing to be .
& the girl he liked had no heart at all.
He gave her a flower & told her to call.
she took the flower & through it in the trash can.
& told him she'd never date such an ugly man.
so that night he said good night to his mother.
kissed his dad & tucked in his little brother.
He put on his shoes & walked through the
until his middle school crept into sight.
as he grabbed onto the rope he said his goodbye.
for then he decided he wanted to die.
so he took a step & down he fell.
he hung there right infront of his own hell.
"Jon Gettle hung himself in front of his middle school in Illinois at midnight. He left a note. it stated: "Bullying is a problem"</u>
[*Alex White commited suicide on July 7th 2005 please repost this even if you didnt know him he was a good guy with a good heart!*]

60731  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-23
Written: (6281 days ago)

My name is della
  I am but three,
  My eyes are swollen
  I cannot see,
  I must be stupid
  I must be bad,
  What else could have made
  My daddy so mad?
  I wish I were better
  I wish I weren't ugly,
  Then maybe my mommy
  Would still want to hug me.
  I can't speak at all
  I can't do nuffin wrong
  Or else I'm locked up
  All the day long.
  When I awake I'm all alone
  The house is dark
  My folks aren't home
  When my mommy does come
  I'll try and be nice,
  So maybe I'll get just
  One whipping tonight.
  Don't make a sound!
  I just heard a car
  My daddy is back
  From Charlie's Bar.
  I hear him curse
  My name he calls
  I press myself
  Against the wall
  I try and hide
  From his evil eyes
  I'm so afraid now
  I'm starting to cry
  He finds me weeping
  He shouts ugly words,
  He says its my fault
  That he suffers at work.
  He slaps me and hits me
  And yells at me more,
  I finally get free
  And I run for the door.
  He's already locked it
  And I start to bawl,
  He takes me and throws me
  Against the hard wall.
  I fall to the floor
  With my bones nearly broken,
  And my daddy continues
  With more bad words spoken.
  "I'm sorry!", I scream
  But its now much too late
  His face has been twisted
  Into unimaginable hate
  The hurt and the pain
  Again and again
  Oh please God, have mercy!
  Oh please let it end!
  And he finally stops
  And heads for the door,
  While I lay there motionless
  Sprawled on the floor

  My name is della
  And I am but three,
  Tonight my daddy
  Murdered me.

60411  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-21
Written: (6283 days ago)

"I dreamt and felt as if I were awake... I drifted through this earth as if it were a dream"

"He was just a man... a man dreaming of the end... dreaming alone..."

"Where am I ?... this is not the same... was everything befor just a dream?... voices... they're outside... where I must be..."

"Did my life end there ?... is this just a dream ?... or is this real ?... and my life just a dream ?"

"I remembered... that while I wasnt sure if I was alive... the moments I shared with her... where the only moments that felt real...."

"I spent my whole life searching for the door that would lead me out... but now I realise there was no door... I should have known that... I guess I was just too afraid to open my eyes..."

"Ill meet you at the bridge that connects the earth to the heavens"

"You can survive anything now... even if the world was turned inside out you would survive"

59356  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-16
Written: (6288 days ago)


You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you

Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me

so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

59153  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-15
Written: (6289 days ago)

if you love me,
answer this,
do you love me,
or do you not?
you told me once
but i forgot
so tell me now
tell me true
so i can say i love u 2
of all the guyz i've eva met
ur the one i wont forget
and if i die b-4 u do
i'll go to heaven and wait for u
if ur not there in so many days
i'll know u went the otha way.
so i'll give the angels back there wings
and just to prove my love is true
i'll go to hell to be with u

58914  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-14
Written: (6290 days ago)

yasmin's comming
yasmin's not
i think that yasmin's lost the
fucking plot!!!!

58730  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-13
Written: (6291 days ago)

MY DYING BRIDE: For My Fallen Angel

As I draw up my breath,
And silver fills my eyes.
I kiss her still,
For she will never rise.

On my weak body,
Lays her dying hand.
Through those meadows of Heaven,
Where we ran.

Like a thief in the night,
The wind blows so light.
It wars with my tears,
That won't dry for many years.

"Loves golden arrow
At her should have fled,
And not Deaths ebon dart
To strike her dead."

58409  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-10
Written: (6294 days ago)

Boy: Boy: baby we need to talk

Girl: ricardo, wat do u mean?

Boy: sumthin has come up...

Girl: wat? Wuts wrong? Is it bad?

Boy: i dont want to hurt u baby

Girl: *thinks* omg i hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much

Boy: baby are you there??

Girl: yea im here wut is so important??

Boy: im not sure if i should say

Girl: well u already brought it up, so please just tell me.

Boy: im leaving....

Girl: baby wut are u talking about?? I dont want u to leave me, i love you

Boy: not like that, i mean im moving far away

Girl: why? All of ur famliy lives over here.

Boy: well my father is sending me away to a boarding skool far away.

Girl: i cant believe this.

[FATHER: (picks up tha other fone, interrupts & yells furiously) ERiKA, wat did i tell you about talking to boys?!!!!!....Get off the damn fone!! (And hangs up)]

Boy: wow ur father sounds really mad

Girl: u know how he gets, but anywayz i dont want you to go

Boy: would you run away with me?

Girl: baby, u know i would, i would do anything for u, but i cant... U dont know wut would happen if i did. My dad would kill me !!

Boy: *sad* its ok i understand i guess..

Girl: *thinking* i cant believe wuts going on

Boy: i need to give u sumthing 2nite b/c i am leaving on flight 1-80 in tha morning, so i need to see you now.

Girl: ok i will sneak out & meet u at tha park

Boy: ok ill meet u there in 20min

[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives her a note.]

Boy: here u go, this is for you i gotta go.

Girl: ****tear (begins to cry)

Boy: baby dont cry, u know i love you...but i have 2 go

Girl: ok (begins to walk away)

[They both go back home. And erika begins to read tha letter he gave her]

It says.....


U probably already know that im leaving, i knew this would be better if i wrote a letter explaining tha truth about how much i care about you. The truth is, is that i never loved you, i hated you so much, u are my bitch and dont u ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, n be around u. U really have no clue how much i hate you. Now that im leaving i thought u should know that i hate you bitch, u never did tha right thing, and u were never there. I didnt think i could hate someone as much as i hate you. And i never want to see you, for the rest of my life, i will never miss kissing you like before, i never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and thats a promise. U never had my love, and i want you to remember that. Bitch u keep this letter bcuz this may be tha last thing u have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. i will not talk to you soon bitch.... Goodbye
- Ricardo

[ erika begins to cry, she throws tha paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]

....A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely.... Then she gets a fone call....

Friend: how are u feeling?

Girl: i just cant believe this happend i thought he loved me.

Friend: o, about that. Ricardo left me a msg. A few days ago. He told me to tell u to look in ur jacket pocket or something...

Girl: ummm ok

[She finds a piece of paper in tha jacket,

It says.

Baby i hope u find this before u read my letter. I knew ur dad might read it, so i switched a few words...

Hate = Love

Never = Alwayz

Bitch = Baby

Will not= will

........ I hope u didnt take that seriously because i love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats y i wanted u to run away with me...


Girl: omg its a letter, Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I cant believe how stupid I am!!

Friend: lol ok but i g2g... Call me later

Girl: *happy*ok bye, i'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me !!

...... Erika turns tha T.V. on......

[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for Survivors...This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80...it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." Reporter says.

[ she turns off the tv....3 days later, she kills herself, because of tha fact that Ricardo wa dead & she had nothing to Live for... ]

....A day after that the fone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a msg. "Its Ricardo, i guess ur not home so, I called 2 let u know that im alive, i missed my flight b/c i had 2 see u one last time. So i hope ur not worried. I am staying for good. Sorry if u got scared, i promise 2 make it up 2 ueverything will be a be ok i love you so much...call me asap bye!!

[...he eventually finds out wut happend, and also kills himself...]

57799  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-06
Written: (6298 days ago)
Next in thread: 57813, 57815

i look up and i know your there
my guardian angel and all that is fair.

pure as water just like a dream
my guardian angel that only i see

you keep me safe and warm at night
when i need a hug you hold me tight

u kiss my cheek and stroke my hair
my guardian angel and all that is fair

you cry so silently and laugh so loud
the smile on your face makes me so proud

you are my dreams and you are my prayer
my guardian angel thanx for being there.

54992  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-02-15
Written: (6317 days ago)

You are friendly, kind and caring
Sensitive, loyal and understanding
Humorous, fun, secure and true
Always there... yes that's you.

Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest blue eyes
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that's you... not one bit of spite.

You're one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game
But not just another... in the long chain.

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old
You'll always be there, I know that is true
I'll always be here... always for you.

54979  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-02-15
Written: (6317 days ago)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!<img:http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b227/luv_a_lot/MissYou.gif> ALL U SMHEXY PEOPLE OUT THERE! ! !

54321  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-10
Written: (6322 days ago)

theres was a family of 5 mum,dad,brother,sister and a babe on a plane but ta plane was gng to crash but there was a problem there was only 4 purshiut so ta mum wnt 2 ta baby n said u will hve to stay opn here

they jumped out of the plane n after they heard a baby cired they looked all round them n it was the baby the mother went 2 ta baby "how ta fuck did u get dwn ere" the baby said "im nt stupid im not dum but me hold on 2 daddys willy"

54320  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-10
Written: (6322 days ago)

cezzy joke to me lol *shakes head*

three men were walking ta streets on a really hot summer day. they turned ta corner n there was a pub but none of them had any money on them so any way ta first man walked in n said 2 ta pub owner n said tat they gt no money can we do anything 4 u

the pub owner said that his daughter is lking 4 a man but they no1 out there so any way the first man wlked upstairs lking at her n said tat im nt desperated

the second man cam in n said actually ta sme thing as ta fist man n ta pub owner said actually ta same thing so he went upstais n cme bk dwn n said tat i gt a gf

ta third man came in ask ta same thing n ta pub owner said actually ta same thing as early so the third man wnt upstairs took her 2 ta bedroom found an empty packet of cheese n onion raper and pulled ta scaps of ur fanny n through th out of the window 10 min l8r he cme bk dwn n tld ta pub owner n he gt a free bottle of water

he en wlked out of ta pub saying tat he gt a free bottle of water n ta other 2 said tat they had a free packet of scraps

54318  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-10
Written: (6322 days ago)

ewo did ya know [boyfriends are like furbys. you always want one, then when you get it you want to kill it.]
hee hee hee

54313  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-10
Written: (6322 days ago)
Next in thread: 54314

A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.

Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.

Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.

He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.

She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.

Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.

He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.

He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.

His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.

One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.

She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.

He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.

Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.

As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.

She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:

"I loved her so,
she never knew.
All this time
I loved her too."

54310  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-10
Written: (6322 days ago)

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

 The logged in version 

News about Elfpack
Help - How does Elfpack work?

Get $10 worth of Bitcoin/Ethereum for free (you have to buy cryptos for $100 to get it) and support Elfpack!