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im 5'10, athletically built,brown hair and eyes, i skateboard, im not preppy,and im in the military, if u want to know anything else ask me or look at the pic of me
this is the youth group at cincinnati,oh
Is that a ladder in your stocking or a stairway to heaven?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
Why didn't God keep you when he had the chance?
I think i'm gay, wanna prove me wrong?
Soooo, you wanna make out, or what?
You're like a prize winning fish... I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
Im like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be.
If I was God I'd make the world revolve around you.
He: Pinch me?
He: Because I must be dreaming
He: This must be the end of a rainbow
He: Because I've just found my pot of gold
Man: Give it back
Woman: Give what back?
Man: My breath
Are you a police officer? Cuz you're one of (your town's) finest!
Is that a ladder in your stocking, or a stairway to Heaven?
You know, winning the lottery doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
I only have 12 hours to live! Please don't let me die a virgin!
What winks and makes love like a panther? (What?) -wink
Your eyes are so mysterious i'd like to be your detective.
You must have a ninja in your pants cuz your ass is kicking
"If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together."
You're so cute you make Hello Kitty look like Quasi-moto.
Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't buy you a drink.
Show me a man who doesn't think you look beautiful and I'll show you a man who is legally blind.
My love for you is like diareah..it never ends!
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
"Can I see your hand? I want to tell you your fortune." Take hand and write your phone number on it. "there's your future."
I would buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.
Do you raise chickens?... cause you sure did raise my cock!
(You) Can I borrow your cell phone? (Her) Sure why? (You) I need to phone heaven and tell God I found the missing angel!
If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'de be called McGorgeous.
I'm just a love pirate lookin' for some booty.
All those curves! And me with no brakes!
If your beauty was money, I wouldn't waste a dime!
Hey baby do you want to go behind that rock and get a little boulder?
"Can I even get a fake number?"
If your looking fo the right person in your life...here I am!
If I had a nickel for everytime I saw a girl as beautiful as you I would now have 5 cents.
Somebody better call Animal Control because I just spotted a fox.
Are you a pitcher, cause I love the way you throw those curves!
They call me coffee cause i grind so fine
He: Is that shirt felt?
He: Would you like it to be?
Baby, you are hotter than an afternoon in july!
Date me or i'll shoot you!
"WHAM! i'm your man!"
Excuse me, my mouth hurts will you kiss it?
You remind me of my Visa card because you are everywhere I want to be.
If you see a woman walking up the road with a child or a baby stroller tell her you'll go halves on another one.
When i saw you i fell over and bumped my head. I'll have to take your name and number for insurance purposes.
"If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"
If you were a president, you'd be Babe-raham Lincoln.
If sexy was a blade of grass...you would be a pasture
I work for a construction company. Need a Lift?
If this is a dream, I never wanna wake up!
Hey, I really like your peaches! Can I skake your tree?
Ask: Do you believe in hereafter? If they say yes then you say: Then you must know what im here after.
Excuse me for interrupting and I'm not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much ass.
Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.
Do you like Bacon?(yes) Wanna strip
I love the way you move; like butter on a bald monkey.
If a star fell every time I thought of you this weekend, it would be empty
"I noticed you noticing me and i wanted you to know that its notified"
He says: Hey can you do me a favor?
She says: That depends.
He says: Stay beautiful till the next time I see you.
"Everyone thinks that rain is sad...but really it is happy, Imagine the possibilites... rain.... white tee shirts... you.... and me, baby."
"I wish we lived in Alaska where the nights would last forever."
I got a queen size bed and Im tired of sleeping alone...
I"m like motel six, I'll leave the lights on for you.
Hey hey sexy thang, lets quit the jammin' and get to slammin'
Congratulations! My friends and I have voted you the hottest guy around! And your prize is ...a date with me!
Can I have a bandaid, I hurt my knee when I fell for you.
Is my heart on fire or am I just lost in a love maze without you! (look at the person in the eyes)
You make Paris Hilton look like a teletubbie.
If I was any object I would be a fan, so when you turn me on, I can cool you down when you get hot.
Hey beautiful...that is your name right?
I wanna be your paramedic. *mouth to mouth certified*
You're way to pretty for me to not know you.
Your a peice of eye candy and i've got a sweet tooth.
him: you look like my third wife
her: how many wives have you had?
(Guy) I'm a terrorist and I have a weapon of mass destruction in my pants.
"I'm not much of a romantic so I'll get straight to the point, wanna make out?"
You might as well sleep with me because im going to tell everyone we did anyway!
If i had one wish i would turn u into a motorbike, why? coz i want to ride u all night
"if i had a dollar for every time i thought of you today, i would have a million dollars, but the money wouldnt matter because i'd have you"
Who took the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes?
Look, im either going to ur place with you, or behind you..... Your choice
Hey, my name's Romeo. Wanna be my Juliet?
Did you know the human body is 90% water and i'm really thirsty.
Your so hot you make my teeth sweat...
I'd walk a hundred miles to see you smile, and a thousand if you do that thing you do with your tongue!
You're so beautiful, you're burned into my retina. I see you every time I blink.
Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
Is that a ladder up your tights or the stairway up to heaven.
Do u have change for a million?
Got a slot machine?:cause i'd like to take a chance!
Hey, Lets make like fabric softner and snuggle.
"Angels fall from the sky, i rise from the bottom"
I think that you have a little bit of witch in you. Cause you've bewitched me.
Let's fight under the covers!!!
While you're watchign the stars and she sees a shooting star and says "make a wish" and you say..."there's nothing to wish for. you're right here."
Hello, Did you know you have great genetic restructuring potential?
"If being sexy was a crime, you would be on America's most wanted list."
"You remind me of cheese..."I LIKE cheese."
Global warming? You're the cause.
I may not be Santa Claus, but I'll stuff your stockings...
If you ever need a vacation, my body is your pleasure island.
They call me coffee, cuz i grind so fine
There are over five billion people in the world. thare is some one for every one. could it be that i might be the person for you?
Your so hot the sun has to wear sunglasses just to look at you.
Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart!!
My throat hurts. Do you have anything I could suck on that might coat it?
It hurts! (what hurts) When you tore out my heart and threw it across the room!
If my love was an ocean, it would take two planes to cross it.
"Can i be the gravy on your biscuit?"
Hi, I'm Will....God's Will.
I wanted to die but u looked so fine I decided to live.
I would say god bless you but it looks like he already did.
My love for you is about as fat as you are!
"Dang girl..as much as i hate to see you leave..i love watchin you walk away"
Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves!
My tongue is burnt will you kiss it to make it better?
Do you have the time? Do you have the energy?
"Can I have your autograph?" [why?] "Well you are Miss America aren't you?"
"My name isn't elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you like."
Tonight, I'll start by giving you a nice kiss on the lips,......and then move up to your belly button.
There must be a monkey here. "WHY?" because i'm going bananas over you.
Do you believe in fairytales, because one is about to start.
"Damn I wish you were my homework, so i could do you on the table"
Drop down infront of him/her and if they ask you whats wrong say "im sorry but my heart stopped when i saw you and i just fell for you."
When i look into your eyes i see an ocean
If looks could count for a minute, you`d be a pretty long day!
Guy: Do you have room in your life for another friend?
Guy: wait i have a better idea, what about a best friend?
Guy: wait i have an even BETTER idea, how about a boyfriend?
Hey what years your car?
(while dancing to,or the song is just playing, "she's gona love you, she's gonna leave you with a smile" George strait) She: I can leave you with my number instead....
(Imagine yourself at a basketball game and the players have on jerseys that have their name on the backs) GIRL: can I have your jersey? GUY: why? GIRL: cause i want your name and number
Q: hey baby whats your sign? A: I like your approach, now lets see your departure!
I'll give you a nickle if you tickle my pickle
Don't try to run away.. i'm on the track team.
My names mickey are you my minnie?
You must be a sargeant, because you have my private standing in attention
I've counted all the stars before. And I think I've missed two. They're in your eyes
If you were a sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'd be a McGorgeous
Q: Are you a Visa Checkcard? A: Because you're everywhere I want to be!
these pick up lines are the funnist ones u will ever read u can also find them on this page
* Joey_Mcbride *
A white man yells to a black man. "Hey colored boy! You're blockin my view."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was [BlackDragon],"
"When I grew up I was [BlackDragon],"
"When I'm sick I'm [BlackDragon],"
"When I go in the sun I'm [BlackDragon],"
"When I'm cold I'm [BlackDragon],"
"When I die I'll be [BlackDragon]"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're ]pink],"
"When you grow up you're [white],"
"When you're sick, you're [Pinkness],"
"When you go in the sun you turn [RED],"
"When you're cold you turn [blue],"
"And when you die you turn [purplekitty09]."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this in your house if you are against raciasim.
this is my fuzzy and i shall call him a fuzzy cuz he will forever be MY fuzzy
96% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD...
REPOST THiS iF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 4% WHO WiLL]