if u havent noticed i love my realy good m8 [xX-Th£_ FØrGöTtêñ_ Øn£-Xx] shes the best love ya hunnie oh and thats y iv got so many anti-coolpoints i gave them all to her lol

Top 20 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex


1) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.
2) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
3) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
4) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
5) Good chocolate is easy to find.
6) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
7) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
8) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
9) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
10) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
11) You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.
12) The word ''commitment'' doesn't scare off chocolate.
13) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
14) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
15) You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
16) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
17) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
18) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
19) ''If you love me you'll swallow that'' has real meaning with chocolate.
20) You can get chocolate.

Rules For Work


1. Never give me work in the morning.  Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems.  No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating  with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.


FOLLOW THESE RULES TO MAINTAIN YOUR SANITY!!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard Devon.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."

20. Put this in all of your profiles.