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super_chef (doesn't like the new lay out change it the fuck bk)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww baby tee heee cute
moo moo n i lufff u loads hunny
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[92% of the teenage population has moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute
3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on
6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone? "
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!" " PICK ME... PICK ME!!!
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here".
kitteh really sweet girl and a great mate
totallyrandom cool chick
Ask me 4 questions. Any 4, no matter how personal, private or random.
I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make racecar noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm..... tasty!"
21. Meow occasionally.
22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
25. Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
26. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"
AM IN LOVE WITH MY SEXY LIL GIRL YOU KNOW WHO ARE LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
violence is bliss ur awesum hunni xxxxxxx
CHILDREN OF THE 80's THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!!
Hello children of the 80's. Read this, it will take you back but be careful cause it will also make you realise that you are now OLD!
-You knew all the words to Captain Planet!
-Remember Tony Heart's "Heartbeat"?
-What about those rubber popper thingies that flew off the palm of your hand?
Ending Story........ahhhhhh ahhhhhh ahhhhh".
-Snap bracelets were always getting you in trouble at school.
-Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
-You played with "My Little Ponies."
-Friendship bracelets were ties that couldn't be broken.
-You ever read Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, The Baby-sitters Club or Sweet Valley High?!
-You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".
-You wanted to be on "Jim'll Fix
It". -You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before he had plastic surgery.
-You wore one of those slap-on wristbands at some point...or heaven forbid
- one of those T-shirts that changed colour with heat.
-You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
-You were upset when She-ra, Princess of Power and He-Man gotaxed.
-You can remember watching Saved by the Bell.
-You remember Madonna in her cone stage.
-You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."
-You even wore fluorescent-neon clothing... (if you can call it clothing!)
-Not only did you wear fluorescent-neon clothing, but they were mismatched with fingerless gloves and towelling socks.
-You could break dance (ok, you wished!)
-You remember when Amiga was a state of the art video game system.
-You remember M.C.
You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"....
-You can remember when it was Jazzy Jeff and The fresh Prince and NOT just Will Smith!
-You owned cassettes.
-You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ALF or ET lunchbox.
-You pondered on why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
-You had a Swatch Watch.
-You spent hours in the basement building and re- building Lego cities.
-Big wheels and BMX's were the way to go.
-With your pink (or blue) portable tape player, you sang to Kylie and Jason!
-Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
-You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.
-You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good film.
-You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living in space.
-You know what leg warmers are
and probably had a pair.
-You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
-You had to change into play clothes after school.
-You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.
-Somehow you still know all the words to songs played on VH1's "Big 80s"
-Your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
-You can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine song on Sesame Street.
-You wore those wide, colourful shoelaces.
-You still don't like going in the sea because of Jaws.
-Dungeons & Dragons was your favourite programme.
-Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have featured in your wardrobe.
-You still remember when the A-ha video was the pinnacle of modern technology and you can still sing all the words.
-It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
-You didn't sleep a
wink on Christmas Eve.
-You remember when 25p was decent pocket money and you'd reach into a muddy gutter for 10p.
-Important decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
-- Name: Colin
-- Nickname(s): Dont have one
-- Birthdate: November 3
-- Birthplace: Nottingham
-- Current location: Nottingham
-- Eye color: Blue
-- Hair color: brown
-- Height: 6'
-- Righty or lefty: Righty
-- Your heritage: Scotish
-- The shoes you wore today: black shoes
-- Your weakness: Chocolate
-- Your fears: Losing Ani
-- perfect pizza: Pepperoni with ham and pinrapple
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: finish my college course
-- Your most overused phrase: fuck a duck
-- Your thoughts first waking up: why is it so early
-- Your best physical feature: apparently my eyes
-- Your bedtime: when i close my eyes
--most missed memory: my Grandad
-- Soda: fruit twist
-- Fast food joint: KFC
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: Neither
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: neither
-- Smoke: no
-- swear: occasionly
-- Sing: All the time
-- Take a shower every day: of course
-- have a crush: yes
-- Do you think you've been in love: am in love now
-- Want to go to college: already there
-- Want to get married: i do
-- Get motion sickness: yes
-- think ur attractive: you tell me
-- Think you're a health freak: nope
-- Get along with your parents: if they were dead
-- Like thunderstorms: yes
-- Play an instrument: no, but I sing
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: YES WAY TO MUCH
-- Done a drug: No
-- Had sex: NO never
-- Made out: yeah...
-- Gone on a date: yeah
-- Gone to the mall: Yah
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: nah
-- Gone skinny-dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- Stolen anything: this thing
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: indeed i have
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Duh am a student
-- Been caught doing something: depends
-- Been called a tease: nope
-- Gotten beaten up: yeah
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: sadly yes
-- Age you hope to be married: whenever its right
-- Numbers and names of children:2 1 of each Jenny and William George
-- How do you want to die: quickly
-- Where do you want to go to college:somewhere good
-- What do you want to be when you grow up:i dont want to grow up nah i want to be a restaurant owner
-- What country would you most like to visit: Canada
-- Who is your guardian/ most loved person: my nan and grandpa love u guys to bits
In a girl
Already have the perfect gf thank you
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: none
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 3 my Nan, Grandpa and Ani
-- Number of CDs that I own: too many to count
-- Number of piercings:None
-- Number of tattoes: None
-- Number of times my name has appeard in the newspaper: Once or twice
-- Number of scars on my body: Too many to count mentally and physical
1. I used to eat natural foods, until I realized most people die of natural causes
2. The easiest way to find something around the house, is to buy a replacement.
3. Never take life seriously, Nobody gets out alive anyway.
4. There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick, and the dead.
5. Life is sexually transmitted.
6. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
7. Health is merely the slowest rate at which anyone can die.
8. The only difference between a rut and a grave, is the depth.
9. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, sitting in the hospital dying of nothing.
10. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
11. How is it a match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
BIRTHDAY: November 3rd
EYE COLOR: Sexy blue according to Ani
HAIR COLOR: depends on the wether
FAV. TV SHOW: Deal no deal so funny
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: WTF!!!!!
FAV. BAND/GROUP/SINGER: The Fray
FAV. SMELL: Ani's perfume
DRINKS WITH OR WITHOUT ICE: depends on the drink...
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: Being away from Ani
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS: Head Chef at a top restaurant
WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT WHEN YOU WOKE UP: Y am i on the floor
ICE CREAM: CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?: Vanilla
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: Yes and no its stressful
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY OCCUPATION WHEN YOU GET OLDER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? have Huw Heffners job (own playboy)
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR 1 COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? Grass green
WHAT'S ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BEDROOM : My certificates and a cubism pic
PICK A SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOU?: Crazy Gnarls Barkley
FAV. MOVIE?: American pie band camp
WHEN YOU MEET A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST?: there eyes
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED?: bout an hour ago
THE COLOR PANTS DO YOU HAVE ON RIGHT NOW?: Blue jeans/Black boxers
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO OR WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG THAT YOU
Every little by Maddonna
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID OUT LOUD: shut the fuck up or i will kill you u ugly slag die
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR COMPUTER DESK? Metal
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON-WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? WHY? Red cause am a warm person
LAST BOOK YOU READ: Jamie olivers cook book
HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW: as usual RAINING
YOUR NAME BACKWARDS: niloc
Every girl dreams that one day, she will find a boy that does these things for her. Even the smallest action can have THE BIGGEST impact in a girl's life.♥
*GIVE HER ONE OF YOUR T-SHIRTS TO SLEEP IN.
*LEAVE HER CUTE TEXT MESSAGES.
*KISS HER IN FR0NT 0F Y0UR FRIENDS.
*TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.
*TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL.
*L00K HER IN THE EYE WHEN Y0U TALK T0 HER.
***LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR.
*MESS WITH HER HAIR.
*JUST WALK AR0UND WITH HER.
**********F0RGIVE HER F0R HER MISTAKES.
*L00K AT HER LIKES SHE'S THE 0NLY GIRL Y0U SEE.
TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS ST0P.
*H0LD HER HAND EVEN WHEN Y0U ARE AROUND Y0UR FRIENDS.
**********WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT Y0U TELL HER Y0U L0VE HER.
**LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN Y0UR ARMS.
GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.
*TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE Y0U BACK.
*STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHES SICK.
*WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE WITH HER
KISS HER F0REHEAD.
*GIVE HER THE W0RLD.
WRITE HER LETTERS.
*LET HER WEAR Y0UR CL0THES.(SWEATSHIRTS)
WHEN SHES SAD, HANG 0UT WITH HER.
*LET HER KN0W SHE'S IMP0RTANT.
LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S 0F Y0U SHE WANTS.
*KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
CALL HER EVERY NIGHT.
*AND WHEN Y0U FALL IN L0VE WITH HER, TELL HER.
AND WHEN Y0U D0 TELL HER. L0VE HER LIKE Y0U NEVER L0VED BEF0RE.
GUYS REP0ST: I'D DO THIS F0R MY GIRL
|Age: 21||Year of birth: 1988||Month of birth: 11||Day of birth: 3|
What do you do?: Being lazy
Place of living: United Kingdom-England
Exact place of living: nottingham
|chasing the preferred sex||chess||crime stories|
Civil status: single
Sexual preference: opposite sex
Body shape: normal