[Deg]'s diary

135286  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2012-11-13
Written: (3026 days ago)
Next in thread: 135287

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Hello, all (all being the one or two odd friends that still read my diaries, as few and far between as they are)!
It's been a while since I've updates so here goes.
I've been busy.
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I know, right? Like that's so important for you to know.
Real life has been knocking at my door and I've been attempting to answer it as graciously as I can.
Exams, research papers, trying to keep my sanity, the usual.
Today I'm meeting with an advisor to see what classes I should sign up for for next semester. Whee!
I'm thinking about changing my major. Eek.
English to Sociology. Thoughts? Comments? Let me have them!
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132979  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2011-08-04
Written: (3493 days ago)

And I'm never gonna be a wolverine again...!

132299  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2011-05-24
Written: (3566 days ago)

...Time has passed you by...

130836  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-11-13
Written: (3757 days ago)
Next in thread: 130838

Okay, I'm having one of my manic moments. I just stumbled upon some Final Fantasy IX fanart on Deviant...
and now I want to play the game so bad it HURTS.

Months and months ago, I started playing it and got super far, all in a couple of weeks because I was so obsessed...then what happens?
I goddamned stopped playing. FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
And now I want to play so bad I want to go rushing down into the basement at 1:30 in the morning and try to find it and hook it up and play it.
I'd have to start over, AGAIN (this keeps happening; I watched my brother beat it years and years and years ago, but then I want to play it by myself...so I start playing...abandon it...and start it over...and do it again and again...same thing with Tales of Symphonia! I'd get so damn far and then NOPE and then I have to start over because I just LEAVE things to rot! GAH)...but I want to! SO BAD. I NEED TO FINISH IT ON MY OWN, GODDAMN IT.

130823  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-11-08
Written: (3762 days ago)

You made a mistake on the day that you met me and lost your way
You saw all the signs, but you let it go...you closed your eyes
I shoulda told you to leave, 'cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me
But you're hard to resist when you're on your knees, begging me...
I tear you down, I'll make you bleed; tell me
Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me
I don't have wings, so flying with me won't be easy!
'Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel...

Hate being that wall that you hit when you feel like you gave it all
I keep taking the blame when we both know that I never change
I'll tear you down, I'll make you bleed; tell me
Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me
I don't have wings so flying with me won't be easy!
'Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel...

I wasn't always this way
I used to be the one with the halo
But that dissapeared when I had my first taste and fell from grace
It left me in this place
I'm starting to think maybe you like it...
I'll tear you down, I'll make you bleed; tell me
Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me
I don't have wings so flying with me won't be easy
'Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel!
I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel!
I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel...
130820  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-11-08
Written: (3762 days ago)

I've taken all this time
Standing in the snow
And I'm so afraid of what could fall from my lips
Afraid of what I know
But still I carry on
Following my heart
Things could let me down, and I could be betrayed
But love never lies....so

Let me be your Rose In December
And I'll be standing here, until spring comes and the snow melts away
Let me be your Rose In December
I'll stand here forever, loving you, as a rose in december

Cool, autumn days
When everyone else walked away
They told me to forget, and to spare myself the storm
But, I knew you were worth the wait
And as the snow fell
Landing on my heart
Burying my emotion, but still I stand here frozen
Because I know I love you, oh, I love you...so

Let me be your Rose In December
And I'll be standing here, until spring comes and the snow melts away
Let me be your Rose In December
I'll stand here forever..loving you..as a rose in december

As a Rose.....

As a rose in december.
130693  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-10-22
Written: (3779 days ago)
Next in thread: 130694

You know what's starting to bug me? I don't know for sure what color my eyes are. Haha, I know that's really dumb, but for the longest time I thought I had brown eyes. So then when people ask, they look and are like "no, they're green!" and I'm like "Fuck no they're not" and so I look in the mirror and...yeah, they do have a lot of green in them. How did I never notice, haha? I never even gave a crap until--and this really happened--I was in school and I said my eyes were brown. A girl a few seats away from me turns on me and YELLS in a very accusing manner, "NO YOU DON'T! YOU HAVE GREEN!" Like I really offended her.
And then a few weeks ago I was working at the gas station and I was having a staring contest with Cody, when she goes "You have really pretty green eyes". And I'm like "Are they really green?"
I guess I'm lame and confused for not knowing my own eye color, hahaha.
Just a random little thought, there.

130688  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-10-21
Written: (3780 days ago)
Next in thread: 130689

001: Name: Shauna
002: NickName: Deg
003: Country of living: United States
004: Shoe Size: 9.5
005: Birthday: July 6
006: Hair Color: Dark brown
007: Eye Color: green/brown
008: School/Work: neither
009: Smoke: Nope 'cause I'm not a dumbass as far as I know, haha.
010: Hobbys: Reading, writing, hanging with friends
011: Brothers/Sisters: 2 older brothers.
012: Relationship: N/A
013: Piercings: Nope, not even pierced ears, haha.
014: Tattos: No, but I might get a tiny one later on.
015: Favorite country to go to: I've never been to another country.
016: Are there people you wont reply to: Oh, for sure.
017: Nicest person you met this year: Dunno...I don't feel like I met anyone new that was really nice...
018: Person you rather not meet this year: None
019: Who would you like to meet: David Draiman.
020: Who do you admire most: My dad, haha.
021: Most sexy person(s): ...David Draiman...I don't know, hahah, weird question.
023: Favorite car: Stingray Corvette
024: Favorite Movie: Currently it's Unleashed, but it changes a lot.
025: Favorite City: Madison since I've never really been to any other big city besides.
026: Favorite Music: I like almost all.
027: Favorite Stuffed Toy: BIG PINK THHHNAKE!
028: Favorite Perfume: Dunno, I'd have to smell them all to know for sure, haha.
029: Favorite Magazine: National Geographic
030: Favorite sound:
031: Favorite Tv Show: I don't really watch TV, surprisingly.
032: Favorite writer: Stephen King, Dean Koontz
033: Favorite Nickname: Deggles
034: What is on your mouse pad: I don't have one, haha. Mouse, no pad.
035: What is under your bed: Another bed.
036: Favorite Color: Blue
037: Favorite song: Don't have one at the moment, although the most listened to song on my iPod is "Baby Pleaes Come Home" by U2, which is really, really strange.
038: Favorite song at this moment: ...?
039: Favorite Food: Spaghetti...or steak...mashed potatoes...shrimp...haha, okay, I'm not picky.
040: Favorite class in school: Social Studies/English.
041: Favorite Drink: Chocolate Milk
042: Lucky Number: 19
043: What do you think is the greatest about yourself: Not much, haha.
044: What deodorant do you use: Some powdery smelling female thing, dunno the brand.
045: Favorite Shoes: Don't have a favorite, they're just shoes.
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: Depends, usually I fade off at 12 if I'm talking to people online, otherwise pretty early like 10ish.
047: What words do you use most: "Hahah" or pretty much anything sarcastic.
048: Most romantic moment in your life: Don't know, haha, haven't had one I guess.
049: Most embrassing moment in your life: Oh my gosh, I wouldn't even know which one to tell...haha...
050: You spend your time outside or inside: Mostly inside, but outside is cool too.
051: What do you do in the weekends: Read, listen to music, play video games, just chill. Maybe take a nap.
052: What class on school do/did you dislike most: MATH. MATH NEEDS TO DISSAPEAR.
053: Your Breakfast: Hoeny Bunches of Oats w/ Strawberries
054: What do you really, really dislike to eat: Anything really spicy, I can't handle it.
055: Pets: I have two cats and a dog.
056: Laugh or dream: Laugh! I LOVE TO LAUGH. I squeak when I laugh too hard.
057: Serious or funny: Depends, I think people think I'm more serious than I really am because my normal expression is very serious/glaring, but really I love to make people laugh.
058: Fast or slow: I'm kind of impatient, so I guess fast; unless I'm driving, then slow, haha.
059: You prefer being alone or have relationship with someone: Well I've had to opportunity to be in a few relationships and turned it down so I guess alone, haha.
060: Simple or complicated?: Simple; god, I hate drama.
061: Cremate or Buried when you die: Crematation all the way, man.
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: Stay up late, get up early.
064: Light or dark?: Don't know, it depends on what mood I'm in. If I'm relaxed and happy, then dark. If I'm hyper or in a mood, then light.
065: Speak or Silence: Silence
066: Do you like a Tall or small guys: Tallish
067: Newspaper or Television: Newspaper
068: Hug or kiss: Neither, haha. Get out of my bubble.
069: Happy or Sad: I would like to be happy but I find myself sad quite a bit.
070: Life or Death: Life.
071: Gig or Disco: O.o
072: Left or Right: Right handed, left brained.
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: On the side. ...Wait...is that an innuendo? o.O
074: Brunettes or Blondes: I don't really care, ahha.
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: Why are there so many assholes that have an easy life, when there are truly good people who have it so hard?
076: You believe in reincarnation: Not sure, but I don't dis people who do believe in it.
077: You believe in Aliens: Yes, haha.
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: Hopefully something memorable, like funny or badass...
079: Does true love exist: Don't really think so, but oh well.
080: How many kids would you like to have: 1, boy or girl doesn't matter...and I'd like to adopt.
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: People who think they're smart enough to be able to spread their legs but not brave enough to accept the possible consequences.
082: Best feeling: Hearing from someone you haven't heard from a while and you had thought they forgot about you.
083: Worst feeling in the world: When people lie to you for no good reason.
084: What are you afraid of: Not much. Needles, ahha.
085: Are you an emotional person: Yes.
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: Yes, haha.
087: Your goal in life: Not quite sure, I'm sure I'll figure it out someday.
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at New Years Eve: I didn't promise myself anything haha.
089: Favorite art-artist: Not sure, probably Gabrielle Weber, haha.
090: As what animal would you like to come back as: I always thought a wolf or something, but then I might get shot by some dumb hunter...or if I was a dog, end up at a puppy mill or abused or whatever...so maybe a Hawk, haha.
091: What is the most beautiful part on the male body: Well I always notice eyes first, hahah. Then laughter. If they have a good laugh, I warm up to them real quick.
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: MmmmMmmmMmmmmmMMMMmmm...I can't think of any place original hahaha I keep thinking the same old same old.
093:What do you think of Elftown: ...*vacant expression*
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: No. Didn't much care for it, really.
095: Where did you get this question list: I infiltrated someones EP page and took it as my own, my precious.
096: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: Elftown? Besides Elftown? I'm never on Elftown, haha. Besides Elfpack I'm probably on www.addictinggames.com mostly.
097: Is there a question you missed in this all: I don't think so
098: Whats the most annoying thing that people ask you?: "Do you have a job?" or "Are you going to college?" V.v"
099: Do you get in trouble a lot: Nope cause I'm smart, haha.
100: Is there a question you missed in this all: Don't think so, hahah. Don't even really know why I filled this out, I guess I was real bored.

130619  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-10-14
Written: (3787 days ago)
Next in thread: 130620

Okay I had this dream last night that was half horribly scary and also just pretty badass haha.

It started off as I was going mini golfing by myself on this really cool course and it was a really nice day out and everything was going really good. At this point I had no idea that this dream was a nightmare because normally all my nightmare dreams the surrounding are really warped and have a dark feeling to them, but this time I was all good. So anyways I'm minigolfing and I get through the first nine holes and then I look and to get to the last nine holes you half to cross this really shallow--up to your waist the entire time--crystal blue lake. People are walking back and forth, enjoying themselves, so I'm about to hop in when a guy comes up next to me and asks me if I would like to play the first nine holes of golf with him because he wanted someone to play with because he was all alone. I was going to, but I kind of wanted to see what the last nine were like because the first nine were pretty cool, so I declined and hopped in the lake and started walking. At this point I'm starting to know this dream is going to nightmare mode because the further I walk to the other side, the darker and muddier the water is getting, and then I start to realize the people in the water crossing ahead of me aren't laughing--they're screaming.
So I look in the water and there are huge, huge crocodiles. Now, I'm not really afraid of crocodiles--sharks are really more my thing--as long as I'm not fucking swimming with them. Of course, the only thing I have on me that could be used as a weapon is my putter, so as they lunge out of the water at me I'm bashing them on the head with my putter. I'm trying to run but you know how it is when you're in that deep of water, it's like slow motion. I'm just hoping I get to the other side quick so I can pull myself up onto the last nine holes and get away from the water but I look and the dock to the mini golf and the little islands they're on is gone. It's just lake, everywhere, and it's getting deeper. There are people all around me dying and getting eaten alive and some trying to fight back with their putters as well, so we group together in a circle and put our backs together and try to fight off the crocodiles as we keep walking. By now the water is up to my chest and I'm starting to lose hope when we come to a sort of channel that we can only go one way down, like a conveyer belt sorta thing. There is a wall at our backs and a bunch of trees growing out of the water really tightly together about fifteen feet in front of us, so we can only go sideways with our backs against the wall as we fight off the crocs. Finally we notice the water is getting shallow and we look and there is a way out of the lake, leading into a jungle. We lunge out of the water and are met by these people that reveal to us that we have sinned and they are going to deal out our punishments. If we live, we are saved--if we die, we're going to Hell.
I'm pretty pissed off that I didn't just go and replay the first nine holes with that one guy.
So these people who are in control--a few guys and a girl--lead our little group through the jungle to this tent in an open field and tell us all to go in the tent. We do, and the ceiling is covered with dead bodies. They zip the tent up behind us and tell us to find "white life" in the tent--whatever THAT meant--or one of us was going to die. Well I was pissed because there was no life in that tent besides all of us, and although the bodies were pure white from being dead they weren't alive, so I was pondering it over when I saw a small white flower growing near the foot of one dead person. Then I hear "time's up!" and we're dragged back out of the tent. The guys in charge are demanding we give them an answer, and I'm like "guys! Guys I know what it is!" but they are so scared and panicked that they just gave them the stupidest answer ever ("Is it one of the dead people?!") and so one of them gets beat to death when I had the answer. I was so angry and pissed.
So they lead us out of the jungle and into this huge hangar type looking shed with the door open so we can see out into the field in front of us and it's a huge open field with normal forests growing all around and there is a huge quarry off to the left. The people in charge say that any one of us that wants to prove ourselves can do one task, and if we complete that task we don't have to do any more of the trials and we can go home. Nobody seems to want to do that, but I'm marching right up to the people and demanding to know what the next trial would be--to see if going out into the field where I don't know what is out there would be worth it. They say there is plenty of deep water crocodile fighting up ahead, so I'm like fuck it, I'll go out in the field. What do I have to do to be able to leave?
The task is this; I get a hand gun and a rifle, both fully loaded, and I have to walk a fourth of a mile and back in any direction I choose. If I make it back to the hangar, I'm free to go. I look around at the pansies and I'm like "Does anyone wanna fucking come with me? It'll be easier to watch if we have two people, and I can't use the handgun and the rifle at the same time." but they're all crying and shivering and panicked and being assholes so I say "fuck you guys, I rather go out there all by myself than have to depend on one of you pansy-asses to have my back" so I walk out of the hangar.
I decide to walk straight right out of the hangar, because going straight is uphill and would lead to a dark forest and left is down into that quarry, which I wouldn't want to have to get back up from if something was chasing me which I was sure was going to happen, and right had a really steep hill about a hundred yards out that blocked the view of whatever was down there but I figured it was still my best bet. I'm getting to the top of the hill and all of a sudden I get really suspicious that there is going to be a monster waiting for me down at the bottom so I get on my stomach and army crawl to the top of the hill. I look down and it's another open field with a few huge rocks coming out from the ground in random places, and I'm like what the hell, I was sure there was going to be a monster or something that I'd have to fight--and then I saw it. Although it was a bit more normal than I thought it was going to be, it still scared me.
It was a huge buffalo, as big as a bus, and its eyes were red and it was shaking his head with massive, curled goat-horns back and forth as if it was crazy or had rabies. I knew I hadn't gone a fourth of a mile yet, and that if I was going to go a forth of a mile I had to go down to where the buffalo was. If I did that, it was going to see me and chase after me, but I had no choice because that was part of the rules--go a fourth of a mile and come back.
I sigh and go creeping down the hill and dodge behind the first huge rock jutting out of the ground that I see. The buff still hadn't seen me, but it turned its head in my direction and was sniffing the air and it growled. That's when I noticed it had fangs, and then I noticed it had hands instead of hooves. Okay, so not a normal buff at all, but whatever. I was gonna shoot the hell out of it.
I lined up the crosshairs of the rifle right between the buffs eyes, hoping to drop it with a couple of shots quickly so I could not have to worry about it chasing me all the way back to the hangar, but when I shot at it--although I saw the bullet hole in its forhead--it didn't do one damned thing. I was sooooo pissed.
Because now it knew where I was. And it was furious.
It charged me and I rolled behind the boulder, droping the rifle and pulling out the handgun because it had a quicker release and wasn't as clumsy to shoot from close quarters. I wait for the buff to go running passed the boulder and I snap a quick round into the back of its head. Nothing. It turns quickly and on a dime, much more agile than a normal bull, and is almost on top of me before I can even move. I dodge out of line of the charge, but now I'm in the open. I only have a few rounds to go before my handgun is useless to me, and the buff doesn't seem to be taking any damage...
Then I woke up, haha. I never did find out if I killed that deranged buffalo or if it killed me, but oh well, I still felt pretty badass fighting it. :) Gehheheeee.

130526  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-09-29
Written: (3803 days ago)



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