Why must I reach out? Why? I am he one who has to start "first contact". Hell! I can't even get people to take my poll. It is only a yes/no question. Why Is this something I must do? Did god put me here to do it purposefully? Well I am tired of reaching out. I want someone to find me, or talk to me. I want to feel wanted. How can I be so strong for so long? Why mus I be? Someone would figure that it would have happened by now. That someone would want me. I want to curl up in a ball and stay within myself, but I won't. There are to many takers who need me and do or don't realise it. Why is it i stay for them? Why do I? I have this hope that one day someone will notice. Hope. That is it. I don't want to hope anymore.
I think I might be "emo" or emotional and i don't know it. Well I just pissed off Jessica. I got Lost in our conversation but it doesn't matter. She doesn't want her friends, tough luck. If she wants to be purposely lonely then it is only her she can blame. If she was lonely by cause then she wouldn't want to be. It Is a fucking cold place where evil things arise from. It degrades your mind and the more you dwell there the worse you get. But she doesn't know that. She is trying to go in reverse by using that to get there. It isn't happening so she can be pissed.
Ok. I was wrong the dance was good. I wished I stayed longer to dance another slow song but I did have fun at the factory. I need to get in better shape, because at the factory I couldn't dance that well my legs were tired.
I don't get it why won't people take my poll? Well today I must go to a dance. I have to work at it and I wasn't planning on going in the first place. You never know I might get lucky. Yeah lucky people get lucky every once in a while.
YYAAAWWWWNNNNN
I am soo cold right now. It sucks not having sealed windows, but that's life. I have been thinking of someone lately. The best part is that I actually have been able to keep my mind preoccupied so I do not think of her. So life has been good insidd my head. Well i guess.