[It takes a disaster to learn a lesson]'s diary

40476 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-30
Written: (6771 days ago)

i cried today , my heart hurts so bad and i just want to desaper from this crap called life , u tell me am crazy but yet all u do is hurt me and not give me a hand or a shoulder to lean on y???

40475 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-30
Written: (6771 days ago)

is everybody going crazy ??? tell me whats going on tell me whats going on

40474 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-30
Written: (6771 days ago)

fucking life of mine , y me??? y????

40324 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-10-29
Written: (6772 days ago)

i need a life

40323 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-10-29
Written: (6772 days ago)

[

am so bored and tired , wow i cant believe that am going to gradute in june 2006 am so happy and at the same time nervous . i know that am going to cry , and i will aslo laugh to show all the bitches out there that i made it and there r feeling stupid .that goes to my fathers family 4 all yah mother fuckers that r always talking shit .tom i have to wake up early and go to school , i went to parents teachers conference and my mom spoke to my teachers .i failed 2 classes but am doing better now and my goal is to pass all my classes and get in the honor roll i know i could make it and make my mom smile . i wish i could make her happy and not dissapointed , and most of all i want to make my self feel happy and smart and feel good about myself.]

40078 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-10-27
Written: (6774 days ago)

[

:) :o :p :y :( :) :) :( :( :):(

]

40077 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-10-27
Written: (6774 days ago)

STEPHANY M VALERIO

40076 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-10-27
Written: (6774 days ago)

EILEEN MICHELLE VALERIO

40074 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-10-27
Written: (6774 days ago)

BORED

39929 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-26
Written: (6775 days ago)

[

THIS FUCKING WORLD GOT ME TIRED

]

39928 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-26
Written: (6775 days ago)

[

:(hahaha am so fucking bored , would u speak to me ????? lol :)

]

39927 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-26
Written: (6775 days ago)

[well today i had a very tiering day , i had to wake up ma early and i got to school at 8am and came out at 6pm .i had day school and pm school,its good cause i am getting challenges to see if i could achive them and i know i can and i will try very very hard .i had alot of homework and i did all of it cause i want to work hard to show my mom and family that i can be what i want to be and i could do what ever i put my mind too .am also happy cause there is a new person in my life and i dont know wat decision to make it is hard cause am getting weird feelings and i dont know how to act lol . wow life is crazy and all i can do is live everyday and try to chage wats in my way lol.][

:)gay face :P

]

39531 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-10-22
Written: (6779 days ago)

[<3>well today i feel good and bored , but am still thinking about my life and i wonder y i've meet people that r mean and two face . i hate bitches , fucking stupid bitch i will like to get my hands on u and kill u . they day i find u talking about me i will make ur life miserable. oh god help me i will kill someone . well am going to wake up at 7:00am cause i have to be in school at 8:00am , then am going to pierced my touge yey . am happy cause i got my english test and i had 100%+ ,i was so happy about that yey amso happy ,i missed my government damm i should of taken it but is my brothers fault he made me cut and then he left me standing in the cold while he was in class.i spoke to a special person and he made me happy but then as we talked then i started to get mad cause of a thing that he asked me .</3> ]

39337 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-19
Written: (6781 days ago)

[

today has been the day for me to find out a whole bunch of shit , i nevered thought that i was that blind and dumm , oh bitch i just want u to do something and u will regret it i suer to my mom chicken head hahaha biach i fucking hate u u hoe ]

39159 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-10-18
Written: (6783 days ago)

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME]

************************************************************************************************************************
[today is my b-day and i had fun but it was boring at the begining. when i woke up this morning i didnt even remember that it was my birthday . my mom gave me 20 dollars , my grandma from dad side gave me 40 dollars , my grandma from my mom side called me . my two cuzz and my aunt came to see me , my big sis merlin and my cuzz ricky called me . my other aunt and my three cuzz called me , my uncle rensi called me my other uncle alberto called me and my aunt carmen also called me . i pretty much had fun , my dad didnt say a word to me , well i dont fucking care he can go to hell, i 've learned that i cant change myself to plase no one , now am legal and am happy , am getting my touge pierced , and my friends in elfpack r so nice and wonderfull , two of them made pics for me cool i like them alot , the others send me messages wishing me the best and] [¤VÕÐKÃ¤][ made me cry with her birthday card thanxs alot lil sis i lova yah alot , and] [chicks dig me why dont u?][is going to take pics of her son to send me i feel special , yesterday was] [Dirty Lil Juggalette][birthday i hope she had fun and i will send u ur present i hope u like it, tom is her dads birthday i hope he has fun ] ]

38790 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-10-15
Written: (6786 days ago)

[

umm am so bored and tired , damm today i feel like crying and i have no reason to cry at least thats wat i think . there is something inside of me thats killing me softly and i dont know how to express it . it is so hard for me to open up to someone and tell them how i feel. i wouldnt understand no one does unless they r going threw the samething or have pass threw it .damm my b-day is monday and am not really excited i mean yea i change my mood here so i could remind myself that is my b-day there was once when i forgot my on b-day and thats sad . i mean am going to be 18 and there is nothing special in that day , i wont get any gifts i wont have no one there , i need love and my family and so called friends dont notice that . when i was growing up i never would of though that my life was going to be this sad , not even in a million years i would of pictured this . yea i have made mistakes and the one thats is up there and suppostly loves us has to understand me and take me for who i am and for the mistakes that i have made as a human being .they say that he made me special but i dont see anything special about me , my mom has never spoke to me like daugther to mother , i have a father and it feels like i dont ,i really dont know y he is here .oh yea i know to make myself miserable .i just wish that everything changes , but i know that it wont change till am out of here. and thats when the real siriouse problems will happend , who ever is reading this is like this chick is crazy but i know , it wont get better till like a few years from now and thats sad . am going to live my life the way i want , and i wont let no one put me down and i will stand up for myself , and god if ur up there dont u think is time to help me be happy , thats all am asking cause i think is time ]

38224 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-09
Written: (6792 days ago)

[

i love this song by my chemical romance

I love mcr

I'm not okay

Well if you wanted honesty,
That's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go,
It's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took.
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again, you sing the words
but don't know what it means.( I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook.
I held you close as we both shook for the last time.
Take a good hard look!

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Forget about the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took,
You said you'd read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay.
(I'm okay, now
I'm okay, now)

But you really need listen to me,
because I'm telling you the truth.
I mean this.
I'm okay!
(Trust me)

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
Well I’m not okay.
I'm not oh-fuckin' kay
(I'm not okay)
Well I'm not okay.
(okay)]

38220 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-09
Written: (6792 days ago)

[today is so fucking boring , is raining like hell is been raining since last night , i wish i was 21 to be in a bar drinking and having fun and not stuck in my house doing nothing much chating with people . yey in the other hand am happy cause my b-day is 9 days away and am going to be 18 am so happy ].[Dirty Lil Juggalette][ b-day is 8 days from now she will b 19 yey i hope she has a very good day and that she will have many many many more b-days ]

38007 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-10-04
Written: (6794 days ago)

today is my big sis b-day merlin i lova yah alot , u might think i dont cause we r so far away but our lifes didnt turn out the way we planned , my life is messed up too and i wish that i can change it but i can . i want to wish u the best on this special day , i mean ur 20 today wow thats a big thing

37632 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-10-02
Written: (6798 days ago)

[<3umm today is sunday and it is so boring , and am sick of course . i wish i wasent , i need someone to love me , no one loves me :(. i wish that i will have good friends that will care 4 me and a family that will love me and take me for who i am . the only one that loves me is my mom and my mom .ina way am happy that she cares for me , but there are times when i feel like she dosent cause of the way she treats me . my life is crazy and sometimes i wish i can change it but hey i cant . i need someone to talk to o that will understand me . but there is no one in this earth that will . i cant forget mark , he is in my head but i need to forget him .my life is so conplicated ,lol but there is much more to come and i will get throw it i will .]

37511 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-10-01
Written: (6799 days ago)

[umm am so so sick and at the same time sad , i found out that u cant trust no one and i mean no one , everyone is a back staber . the people that i though were my friends all they do is talk shit about me , and all i have done is to be nice and treat them right and help them out even buying them shit . is just funny that when to of ur friends stop talking how u find out things that will hurt u .eva dammm i never though that she will talk behind mu back and act like nothing is going on , all i have to say to her is that yea i am a dog with clothes and i am like my father is thats wat she thinks .so far the only one that i think that hassent spoke behing my back is ana and her sister ,i really hope that they havent spoke behing my back cause i will really be surprised . umm zazha i found her talking about me with lenett , she was talking about me for something that dosent even have to do with her is not even her bussiness. damm i wish that i will move so far away and there will be no one to hurt me .oh god i wish that i had my old best friends that i use to talk too , they were my bitches and my homies i still love them but am sure they r mad at me . i wish there were things that i did that i can change but that can happend unless i can turn time back . ummm i just wish that my future will get brigther and not darker . ]

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