[Evil Ducky]'s diary

75884  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-13
Written: (6496 days ago)

It's ok I know what you mean THANKS a lot for listening.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: __Mr.A__
Date: Jul 12, 2006 8:21 PM

Hey, yeah i sorta saw that tonight and i didnt know how to addrress it. I'm sorry if I helped in any part of the her not talking to you thing. But yeah, she knows I'm here for her and that i care about her so much. But yeah, don't worry about it next time, know that u can talk to me. Laterrs

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xXEvil_DuckyXx
Date: Jul 12, 2006 10:14 PM

Um ok sorry if you don't understand what I say but I'm sorta confused on how to say it.
Um Ever since Autumn has been bf gf with you. She won't listen. You guys talk and then when I try to talk to her, she'll listen for about 5 seconds then turn to you and start talking with you again.
(oh and I'm not trying to pull you guys apart or anything)
Anyways, when I do get to talk to her when you're not around, I understand her having problems, but she keeps going on about it, I can't help her, I really want to but I can't, and when she's not talking about problems and Dying and stuff like that, She talks about you and never stops.
I tell her that if she wants someone to talk to that she should talk to you because that's hat bf's and gf's are for. Right??? But she complains about that she never sees you. I tell her to call you but she said she can't and for me not to ask why.

All of this I don't want you to tell her I said this, but all I ask of you is if you talk to her, tell her you're always there and if she wants to talk to just messege you on here or where ever else. You know??? First comes family, then comes the ones their in love with, last comes friends.
Since she can't go to her family she has to go to you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: __Mr.A__
Date: Jul 12, 2006 8:05 PM

Yeah, u can talk to me

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xXEvil_DuckyXx
Date: Jul 12, 2006 10:03 PM

I need to talk to you about something about Autumn
it's nothing bad about her it's just she sorta changed.
I want to know if I can talk to you about it without telling her

66097  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-01
Written: (6568 days ago)



From: http://www.goth.net/goth.html

This is probably the hardest question any goth could try and answer, one may as well ask 'what is society?' as it has so many facets it defies any definitive explanation.

Goth in its simplest form, is a subculture. A group of people who feel comfortable within each others company. There is no specific thing that defines what you need to do or be to fit into the goth scene (except of course the implied black clothing). People in the goth scene all have different musical tastes, follow different religions, have different occupations, hobbies, and fashion sense.

Why do people become goths?
Most goths become goths because they have been spurned by 'normal' society because the way they want to live their lives does not fit in with how most people are told to live theirs. Goths are free thinkers, people who do not accept the moral rules of society because they're told 'This is just how it is' or 'This is what God says!'. Rather goths tend to listen to what you have to say, and make up their own mind. This kind of free thinking and rejection of dogma earns only rejection in todays society.

However because of this rejection from 'normal' society, goths have banded together to associate with other free thinkers. This has a beneficial effect on both the individual and society as a whole. For the individual they have a sense of belonging, and friends they can associate with. For society it removes one more misfit filled with rage from society's streets.

This of course is not the case for all goths. Many goths today are goths for a variety of other reasons. They like the music, or the clubs are better, they have goth friends and joined in with them, or they just like staying up late nights and goths are the only ones awake to talk to.

The gothic stereotype
Many stereotypes of goths exist these days. It seems everyone has their own way to define 'what is goth'. From the stereotypes based on clothing to music right up to the stereotypes of all goths being satanists or part of some kind of cult. Categorically, all of these are false.

The goth scene is just as widely varied as society in general. There are many different professions represented in the scene, from highly skilled professionals like doctors and lawyers, to tradesman, to technically minded people to clerical workers. Many different musical tastes exist (and not all of them goth, there is a HUGE 80's following in the goth scene for some reason). The fashion varies vastly from goth to goth from the traditional flowing victorian style garments to the buckled and studded style regalia (also called industrial style, which is often closely related with goths, and have come to an understanding of co-existance, if uneasily at times).

How do I get into goth?
This is the simplest part of the page. Go check out our Community section over on the left, and use it to find out whats going on in your local area. Goths tend to be accepting and open minded. Just turn up to a club or event wearing all black and your already in the goth scene. You'll pick it up as you go along (just a hint though, lay off the vampire comments!).

The gothic sense of humour is highly developed, and often leans toward the satirical. Quietly laughing at the more idiotic and less tolerant factions of society that seem to think yelling out of cars at us makes them cooler. Goths have learned to laugh at themselves and see society in a much different light. They have had to, and it is a trait most would not give up.

Goths have for the most part (not unanimously of course, but mostly) dropped all forms of prejudice. Noone is afraid within the goth scene to come out as being gay, and noone has to hide their religion for fear of scorn from their peers or zealots wanting to convert them from the arms of Satan. In fact because of these facts (and the general lack of prejudice) the goth scene has a large proportion of gays/bisexuals, and followers of non-mainstream religions and views. This of course is the most important aspect of gothdom, and why most goths became goths in the first place, tolerance.

But they think weird!
Ah, but this is the beauty of goths. Most subjects that are taboo in 'normal' society are freely discussed and debated about. Death, religion, magick, mysticism, and many other topics that are only roached carefully outside of the gothic community. Most goths have realised that fear is only a reaction instilled in us by dogmatic propaganda, and once you realise there is nothing to fear from the topic, whats to stop you discussing it?

Goths often revel in the fear given to them by society as a whole. Often the behavior exhibited by society to them based on society's perception of them from stereotypes, rumour, etc are a constant source of entertainment. Of course, most of the rumours are totally unfounded, goths are people like everyone else, however when you already have a reputation, going for the shock factor is often far too tempting to see how much society at large is willing to believe (or deduce) with only a little encouragement.

This does not totally fall away once you get inside the scene unfortunately, and goths are all too often tempted to try for the shock factor within the scene (which turns out more tacky than shocking). Goths when you get down to it can be a rather pretentious bunch, trying for those extra 'goth points' on the gothier than thou scale, but it adds to the enjoyment.

History of Goth
Modern goth (ignoring where the name itself originally comes from) started in the early 80's as part of the punk subculture (which is itself was a rejection of most societal values, and anything considered part of the 'norm'). The phrase was coined by the band manager of Joy Division, Anthony H. Wilson, who described the band as 'Gothic compared with the pop mainstream'. The term stuck, and as punk eventually died, Goth survived and became its own subculture. The punk clothing and hairstyles mellowed, and the core 'rejection of society' attitude alone lived on in the gothic subculture. Over time this itself has been modified to be more of a 'no more blind acceptance of society's values' as opposed to rejection because it was there to be rejected (and because you could get away with it!).

Movies such as The Crow, and bands such as the Bauhaus helped establish the gothic image as dark, depressing, and even evil. As more and more 'dark' movies came out, numbers in the gothic subculture expanded, and there is now a gothic community in almost every major city around the world, and quite a number of towns have their own representative contingent. Nowdays there are more goth bands around than ever, and it has turned from an 80's phenomenon into a 90's way of life for many people. Unlike the punk subculture that it spawned from, there even exists a class of mature goths, still following the scene around even past their 20's and into their 30's and beyond.

-- PreZ

Please note that the above is the opinion of the author, and that there is no definitive answer to the question "What is Goth?", so opinions and answers will vary.

© 2000,2001 Preston A. Elder
63574  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-11
Written: (6589 days ago)
Next in thread: 64862

Eyes of hatred,
Staring at you from behind the darkness.
People with minds alike,
Minds like the Devil.
Events that happen over and over,
Just to be meant as jokes.
Using my weaknesses against me,
Just to hurt me and make me cry.
A pain that throbs inside,
Impatiently waiting to be let out.
In my room,
I light the candles and the incense,
Turn the lights off and close the shutters,
Play soft music and sit with a bowl and razor.
Slowly inhaling the scented fumes,
Listening to the soft music,
Thinking of what is not to live for,
Cutting and slowly letting the pain out.
Letting the blood flow and turn into drips,
Letting it drip into the bowl,
Watching the flames dance,
And drifting into a long sleep,
Never to be awaken.

63387  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-04-10
Written: (6590 days ago)

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you always look the other way
Finding imperfections
with every living breath
feeding yourself deceit
every night as you lie in bed

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you see only flaws in the diamond
and not the sparkle that it holds
You judge yourself with consequence
tearing down what nature built
and turning it into darkness cold

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you don't look into the mirror
save with tear-streaked eyes
How can you see yourself as I do
when you're peering through a looking glass
warped by doubt and loathing
brewed within your mind

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when your beauty is just too much
and leaves me lost for words
choking on every thought
while trying to explain something so clear
that it is written all over your face

How can I show you
that you're beautiful
when the world is not enough
and a million voices
fail to change your song
unable to silence
the doubt that beats away

No I can't show you
that you're beautiful
No matter how hard I try
But I'll whisper it to you every night
as you drift off to sleep
and hope that one morning
you'll wake up with eyes wide open
and see yourself as I do

A perfect diamond
A stunning reflection
and a ray of sun
piercing my own darkness
taking the clouds away

60533  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-22
Written: (6609 days ago)

This really happened
If you can understnd

(Bloody Tears)
A night alone,
As I walk the streets.
Wondering, About . . .Him
A friend for a day,
And I start to feel for him.
His eyes, so deep and black.
His lips, so soft against mine.
His soul, with me when he's not here.
A tear down my face that
He would happily wipe away,
And tell me that's it's going to be alright.
I love him . . .But does he love me???
No. He does not.
Eleven months of happiness
Almost A Year
Falls to the ground, month by month.
May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February, all the way to march 21st.
When he said he was in love with another.
Night by night from now on,
In my dreams I will be drowned by the tears he made me cry.
And I will cry so long and hard that I will make it possible to cry tears of blood.
Cry tears of blood for the rest of my life and remember that he was the one that made it possible.

57777  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-06
Written: (6625 days ago)
Next in thread: 57876, 58572, 58574, 58576

I'm really starting to get sick
a lot of things have happened
I have no more friends at school but I have a lot more enemies
I'm not eating enough and I've lost 23 pounds
My grandma and uncle died and everyone thinks I'm a suck-up for attention and that i don't deserve anything and that I'm a waist of air
and everytime I try to talk to someone about it
they end up saying that I made all this up and that I AM a suck-up for attention
and now things is just getting worse and wosre by the day

51745  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-01-23
Written: (6666 days ago)

and if you are not one of my bitches or one of my thugs then

50464  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-01-16
Written: (6674 days ago)
Next in thread: 50469, 50606, 50978, 50990, 51339

[If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.]

29642  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-07-22
Written: (6852 days ago)
Next in thread: 29969, 29970

i'm bored
well actually i'm high
but that doesn't matter

 The logged in version 

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