Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Wisdom comes with age. Death comes with age. Therefore, wisdom is dangerous.

If history is doomed to repeat itself, Bring on the beheadings!

If ignorance is bliss, Why aren't more people happy?

I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.

When it comes to thought, Some people stop at nothing.

I never really learned the difference between what is right or wrong. That's why I automatically assume that whatever I say MUST be right.

There are no stupid questions, But there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

I do whatever the voices tell me to. It depends on who yells the loudest.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.

If at first you don't succeed....go back and reload the gun.

When all else fails, violence prevails.

There is a light side, a dark side, and then there's my side, we kill people ten times faster and with less reason.

See my halo bright and shiny, but mess with me and I'll kick your hiney.

Kill everyone you don't like. You'll feel better

HELL EXPLAINED (ROTFLMFAO!)
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. No matter where they've been. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. But only when when there green.

I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. That is what I said. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. But not when they are red.

I got a 7.5% on http://stupid-quiz.com/stupid?category=friends&source=google

You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you think it's OK.
But when I call you, nigger, Kike, Towelhead, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist.
You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.
If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.
If we had white history month, we'd be racists.
If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.
I am white.
I am proud.
But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists?
Repost if you agree.

LMFAO!!!

At +70º -
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.











At +60º -
North Carolinians start turning on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.











At +50º -
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.











At +40º -
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.







At +30º -
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.







At +20º -
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.











At +15º -
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.







At 0º -
People in Miami begin freezing to death...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.







At -20º -
Californians evacuate to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.







At -40º -
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.







At -60º -
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.







At -80º -
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.







At -100º -
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.







At -297º -
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.







At -460º -
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"







At -500º - Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!