[saint gone sinner]'s diary

107184  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-10-23
Written: (6038 days ago)

GUYS ARE JACKASSES AND THEY ALL MUST AND WILL DIE... IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO, THE ENTIRE MALE SPECIES WILL VANISH FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH... ALL THEY DO IS CAUSE PAIN AND SUFFERING FOR THOSE THAT ARE AROUND THEM AND IT IS POINTLESS FOR THEM TO EXIST.... IF THEY ALL DIE RIGHT NOW IT WOULD MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE... WHY DO THEY COME AROUND WITH THEIR PRETTY WORDS AND THEN FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WHEN YOU AREN'T LOOKING...? WHY DO THEY SEEM TO TAKE PLEASURE IN CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE PAIN? WHY ARE THEY ALL SO NICE UNTIL THEY GET WHAT THEY NEED FROM YOU THEN TURN AROUND AND LEAVE? WHY DO THEY TAKE PLEASURE IN HURTING THE GIRLS THAT FALL FOR THEM? WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? WHY CAN'T THERE BE ANY DECENT GUYS OUT THERE?? WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR THE WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD? WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT? HOW CAN SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE HALFWAY INTELLIGENT BE SO FUCKING RETARDED THAT SHE FALLS FOR THE THREE LITTLE WORDS THAT MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE, THE THREE LITTLE WORDS THAT CAN TEAR ME APART, THE THREE LITTLE WORDS THAT CAN DROWN ME IN SORROW AND PAIN? "I LOVE YOU." YEAH... MY ASS!

106950  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-10-16
Written: (6045 days ago)

Why are guys such confusing creatures?? I mean, they say one thing when they really mean another thing.... They lie to you about how they feel just to make you feel better... They tell you that you are the only person that they want, then turn around and break up with you because they "discover" that they still have feelings for their ex, who is a lesbian and wants nothing to do with them.... They tell you that they love you and then they tell you that they only said that to get in your pants (which doesn't make sense if they are already getting in your pants and only toys with your emotions)..... They come back to you and tell you that they just want to be "friends" which of course always includes the "extra benefits"... Then they string you along so that you are still willing to do ANYTHING for them... Then they really fuck with your head and tell you that they get jealous when you talk to your guy-friends who don't mean shit to you in that way... Then when you ask them why they get jealous they just say that they are worried that they will lose you forever.... I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! A LITTLE HELP HERE?? MAYBE SOME GUYS CAN EXPLAIN THIS SYSTEM TO ME?!?!

103640  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-08-08
Written: (6113 days ago)

I WANNA DIE!!!!!!!!!! WILL SOME ONE HELP ME OUT WITH IT?? HOW IS IT THAT PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY CAN WALK ALL OVER OTHER PEOPLE??
I KNOW I'M TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO KILL MYSELF, BUT IF SOME ONE WANTS TO KILL ME I'LL BE HOME AROUND 11:30-MIDNIGHTISH SO PLEASE PLEASE COME END THIS PAIN.... I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE!! I WANT THIS PAIN TO END....
KILL ME NOW!!! PLEASE JUST TAKE ME OUT OF THIS WORLD!! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE I DON'T WANT TO BREATHE I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYMORE!! PLEASE SOME ONE COME SAVE ME FROMM MY SELF-CREATED DAMNATION!!!!!!! SAVE ME, PLEASE SOMEONE, ANYONE.... SAVE ME!!!!!!!! SAVE ME BY KILLING ME AND ENDING THIS TORTURE!!! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE.... I WANT TO BE FREE FROM THESE CHAINS THAT TIE ME DOWN AND KEEP ME ALIVE.... I WANT TO DIE!!!!

46170  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-12-16
Written: (6714 days ago)

The world is swallowing my life I am drowning in my own blood

13644  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-22
Written: (6952 days ago)

Just a poem today:
The Last Words My Ears Thought To Hear
"I love you"
The last words my ears thought to hear.
I glance up,
Certain to see,
his laughter mocking me,
Love shining is all i see,
It's glowing bright for my soul to see.

For it's as bright as is he,
Unfathomable feelings sweep,
Content yet tangled with fear.
Open your mouth, close it again,
can't explain,
no reply.
Up again so joe and I can see,
"I love you too"
The last words my ears thought to hear.

12623  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-04-06
Written: (6968 days ago)

Well today my dad bitched at me for like 4 hours about how much of a bitch I am and how I'm ungrateful that he is my father and all this other bullshit. I'm seriously considering emancipation. Today, for like the second time ever, I deserved to be bitched at because I took the car without permission and I kind of don't have my license yet so yeah. But he didn't need to call me a bitch, I mean it wasn't that big of a deal, at least I didn't get caught by the cops like my sister did. My god he bitches at me when I don't have something to do to get me out of the house then he bitches because I'm always gone. (and he wonders why i like to be the fuck away from my fuckered up family and fuckered up life. Oh well whatever.I gotta go it's like 1 am and I have to get up early to go to school so peace.

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