Questionable Jokes - Refused
Here is a place for the funniest jokes from Questionable Jokes which were too risqué for Mainstuff, but still rather harmless. It is doubtful the jokes here be featured for the Daily Joke.
If you plan to make a submission for Questionable Jokes, comparison with the jokes here should give you an idea of what we won't feature
[
Chameleon Girl]
A woman decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday one year. As they get to the door the doorman greets her husband, saying, "Oh, hi Bob, how've you been lately?"
Naturally the wife is furious but bob manages to explain. He tells her, "You know how I like to go bowling? Well, he's one of my bowling buddies."
The woman calms down and they enter the club. As they sit down at the bar the bartender asks, "The usual Bob?"
Again, the woman is furious and again he explains himself, "Oh, he also bartends at the bowling alley."
About an hour later a pretty blonde comes up to the couple and asks, "So Bob, the usual lap-dance tonight, or would you like something speical for your birthday?"
The woman is utterly enraged and stomps out of the building, leaving her husband with no way to get home.
Much later that night a convict breaks out of jail and breaks into their house looking for money, jewelry and anything else that might be helpful. They both wake up in the process and Bob watches as the convict kisses his wife's neck and then heads into the bathroom. He tells her, "The guy probably wants to have sex with you since he's been in prison for so long. Just give him what he wants and maybe he won't hurt us. Be strong honey, I love you."
The woman turns to him, "What are you talking about?"
"Well, I just saw him kissing your neck," He replies.
"No, he was whispering. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute and then he asked where the vasaline was. Be strong honey, I love you."
[
Kaze]
One day the husband comes home to his wife and she says to him, "Honey, honey, I need twenty dollars I have to go out and buy some meat."
"Twenty dollars!... are you crazy? Come upstairs to the bathroom and let me show you something."
They run up to the bathroom and he stands in front of the mirror and pulls out a twenty dollar bill and says, "You see that twenty in the mirror, that ones yours and this ones mine."
He goes to work the next day and when he comes home he finds the kitchen table packed full of meat from one end to the other.
He looks over to his wife and says, "Honey, honey, where the hell did you get all of this meat?"
"Well," she replies. "Come upstairs to the bathroom and let me show you something."
They run up to the bathroom and she stands in front of the mirror, lifts up her skirt.
"You see that one in the mirror, that ones yours and this one's the butcher's."
[
hytrjuhytjhgjg]
Q.What do michael jackson and play stations have incommon?
A.Little boys turn them on.
[
(Trey)]
One lovely evening these two elderly couple are out on a date. The guy is being gentamenly like and he says. "this is going so well and i have to ask you if your not busy tomarro would you mind going fishing with me?" she goes "no its ok" so the next day there out in the river and they come across a fork in the stream and he goes "up or down" and the girl rips off all her clothes and starts having sex with the guy. at the next fork in the stream he goes. "up or down" and she rips of all her clothes and starts having sex with him out there in the boat. so they get to where there going and hes a little puzzled and when they were donethere in the row boat and they come across the same fork and he goes "up or down" and she goes "up". he's a little confused but he's like no worry. the next fork in the stream and he goes "up or down" and she goes "down" no he when i asked the same question you started to have sex with me?" And she goes "because i left my hearing aid at home and i thought you said Fuck or Drown"
[
Pandora♥xcore]
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
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